this was off the top of my head and sent to my cousin and uncle on easter.
neither of them ever acknowledged it so i guess it wasn't very good...
easter
the rabbit brings eggs
you eat some yummy candy
this is a nice day
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
fewer posts often indicate a busy mind...
...or at least it is often what my situation is.
typically, i might have had an entry last month in regards to my birthday and my various insights toward life and whatnot- believe me, there was (and still is) plenty to write about. i could have even even had a post at easter for similar reasons. perhaps because there has been so much transpiring on an emotional level that I just couldn't bring myself to start writing and it's in the advent of seeing so little entered recently that i finally feel compelled to the point of writing.
my birthday passed without a word, literally. i had fought with family enough that nothing happened on that day. no words were exchanged at all. it took mentioning my birthday online for strangers and a few friends and extended family to whom i barely speak to actually comment at all. i'm sure a few were sincere in their wishes, but it irked me that automated reminders weren't enough- i actually had to prompt people via wishing myself a happy birthday. i found out the next day a few presents were waiting for me, but i hadn't been told of this nor was i really in a present opening mood by that point.
because my grandfather's health has been deteriorating rapidly -- especially since my grandmother passed away -- i felt my family should be with him. i've already discussed this concept in previous posts so i won't bother with all the various details, except to say that my mother's ex is an absolute pig and i was dismayed we had to rely on him for transportation and subsequently his presence at our little family event. he got presents and to eat dinner and eat all the leftover meat and was still displeased about being there- not that he had any better offers because he did not. unfortunately, my uncle and cousin were unable to attend due to schedule conflicts, but my uncle said they would be able to come two weeks after that (yes, they will be in town this evening and we will all gather tomorrow for dinner). i would also like to get my great uncle more involved in our family. i think making invitations only on holidays is a back-handed compliment. i would like to see him during other times of the year which have no importance whatsoever. he is a special man to me regardless of his profession or familial relation. i simply enjoy his presence and i feel like i never get to see him enough. i am trying to get him more involved. i don't know how all this will pan out, but i am hoping for the best.
so there you have most of the familial junk going on, but there is more (oh no), but i won't get into it for now (oh phew). what i will mention is that two of my best friends, who quite ironically share the same first name, are both having very difficult times in life right now. one is emotionally unstable to very serious proportions and is having troubles arriving at her goal of marriage. the other is having serious troubles with her marriage and has been emotionally affected by most of her family passing away over the course of the past decade or so. so even their situations are ever so slightly flip-flopped as well. neither one talks to me much anymore, but when they do the alway seem to have a boat load of bad news. it's sad to hear such things from friends. i wish i could help them. as it is i can barely help myself...
maybe i will have something better to offer next time i write. the best i can do now is say that i am still interested in all things japanese and my studies are actually showing results. i have a small investment which isn't doing as much as i would like so i am considering not renewing it into rollover, but rather using some portion of it to advance aspects of my life. at my age, progressing at a snail's pace is an extremely poor option for me and i need to feel some personal growth and development because right now i am feeling very little.
typically, i might have had an entry last month in regards to my birthday and my various insights toward life and whatnot- believe me, there was (and still is) plenty to write about. i could have even even had a post at easter for similar reasons. perhaps because there has been so much transpiring on an emotional level that I just couldn't bring myself to start writing and it's in the advent of seeing so little entered recently that i finally feel compelled to the point of writing.
my birthday passed without a word, literally. i had fought with family enough that nothing happened on that day. no words were exchanged at all. it took mentioning my birthday online for strangers and a few friends and extended family to whom i barely speak to actually comment at all. i'm sure a few were sincere in their wishes, but it irked me that automated reminders weren't enough- i actually had to prompt people via wishing myself a happy birthday. i found out the next day a few presents were waiting for me, but i hadn't been told of this nor was i really in a present opening mood by that point.
because my grandfather's health has been deteriorating rapidly -- especially since my grandmother passed away -- i felt my family should be with him. i've already discussed this concept in previous posts so i won't bother with all the various details, except to say that my mother's ex is an absolute pig and i was dismayed we had to rely on him for transportation and subsequently his presence at our little family event. he got presents and to eat dinner and eat all the leftover meat and was still displeased about being there- not that he had any better offers because he did not. unfortunately, my uncle and cousin were unable to attend due to schedule conflicts, but my uncle said they would be able to come two weeks after that (yes, they will be in town this evening and we will all gather tomorrow for dinner). i would also like to get my great uncle more involved in our family. i think making invitations only on holidays is a back-handed compliment. i would like to see him during other times of the year which have no importance whatsoever. he is a special man to me regardless of his profession or familial relation. i simply enjoy his presence and i feel like i never get to see him enough. i am trying to get him more involved. i don't know how all this will pan out, but i am hoping for the best.
so there you have most of the familial junk going on, but there is more (oh no), but i won't get into it for now (oh phew). what i will mention is that two of my best friends, who quite ironically share the same first name, are both having very difficult times in life right now. one is emotionally unstable to very serious proportions and is having troubles arriving at her goal of marriage. the other is having serious troubles with her marriage and has been emotionally affected by most of her family passing away over the course of the past decade or so. so even their situations are ever so slightly flip-flopped as well. neither one talks to me much anymore, but when they do the alway seem to have a boat load of bad news. it's sad to hear such things from friends. i wish i could help them. as it is i can barely help myself...
maybe i will have something better to offer next time i write. the best i can do now is say that i am still interested in all things japanese and my studies are actually showing results. i have a small investment which isn't doing as much as i would like so i am considering not renewing it into rollover, but rather using some portion of it to advance aspects of my life. at my age, progressing at a snail's pace is an extremely poor option for me and i need to feel some personal growth and development because right now i am feeling very little.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
djsquelch and phase shifts header...
I needed to have a header for my justin.tv account so I borrowed one of my photos of myself and edited it a tad. I may do more with it later, but I'm pleased with it for now...
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
just to set the record straight...
i generated this image as well as most of the info presented for the kabuto ova page on anime news network. crunchyroll is now posting the same image for their page on the kabuto ova. i just wanted to set the record straight that i scanned the vhs art provided from the kabuto ova and used four images from that scan to create the final image.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
e-prime and other languages of interest...
ok, raise your hand if you have heard of e-prime. no, it isn't a robot fighting for the side of good. no, it isn't a computer language either, but it is a language so i might give you half-credit for that guess. this is a term that has stuck with me for generations and i have never found a practical use for it yet other than conversation topic. guess where i heard it... give up? a raver brought it up online back in the day when hyperreal was at its peak and vrave was still running under the hyperreal domain. oh you're curious now, right? guess what- it's covered over at wiki! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-Prime
here is an excerpt just to get you started on a very interesting article:
"E-Prime, short for English-Prime, is a modified form of English. It uses very slightly simplified syntax and vocabulary, eliminating all forms of the verb to be: be, is, am, are, was, were, been and being (and their contractions). Sentences composed in E-Prime seldom contain the passive voice, which in turn may force the writer or speaker to think differently (compare the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis). By eliminating most uses of the passive voice, E-Prime encourages writers and speakers to make explicit the agent of a statement,[1] possibly making the written text easier to read and understand.
E-Prime is used as a mental discipline to filter speech and translate the speech of others.[2] For example, the sentence "the movie was good", translated into E-Prime, could become "I liked the movie". The translation communicates the speaker's subjective experience of the movie rather than the speaker's judgment of the movie. In this example, using E-Prime makes it harder for the writer or reader to confuse a statement of opinion with a statement of fact."
"Contents:
* 1 History
* 2 Different functions of 'to be'
* 3 Rationale
* 4 Discouraged forms
o 4.1 Allowed words
o 4.2 Allowed words with prohibited homophones or homographs
* 5 Examples
* 6 Examples of literal translation vs. translation "in the spirit" of E-Prime
o 6.1 First example of literal translation
o 6.2 Second example of literal translation
o 6.3 An example of translation "in the spirit" of E-Prime
* 7 Criticisms
* 8 References
* 9 Footnotes
* 10 See also
* 11 External links"
as you can gather, it's actually a very interesting article. however, this wouldn't be the only unusual formulation of language in existence. Who's heard of esperanto? no, it isn't a coffee, car, or bean. it's an auxiliary language and guess what- there's more than one kind of auxiliary language. check it out here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Esperanto and while you're at it, look up auxiliary languages here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_auxiliary_language. these are very interesting reads, folks. seriously!
here is an excerpt just to get you started on a very interesting article:
"E-Prime, short for English-Prime, is a modified form of English. It uses very slightly simplified syntax and vocabulary, eliminating all forms of the verb to be: be, is, am, are, was, were, been and being (and their contractions). Sentences composed in E-Prime seldom contain the passive voice, which in turn may force the writer or speaker to think differently (compare the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis). By eliminating most uses of the passive voice, E-Prime encourages writers and speakers to make explicit the agent of a statement,[1] possibly making the written text easier to read and understand.
E-Prime is used as a mental discipline to filter speech and translate the speech of others.[2] For example, the sentence "the movie was good", translated into E-Prime, could become "I liked the movie". The translation communicates the speaker's subjective experience of the movie rather than the speaker's judgment of the movie. In this example, using E-Prime makes it harder for the writer or reader to confuse a statement of opinion with a statement of fact."
"Contents:
* 1 History
* 2 Different functions of 'to be'
* 3 Rationale
* 4 Discouraged forms
o 4.1 Allowed words
o 4.2 Allowed words with prohibited homophones or homographs
* 5 Examples
* 6 Examples of literal translation vs. translation "in the spirit" of E-Prime
o 6.1 First example of literal translation
o 6.2 Second example of literal translation
o 6.3 An example of translation "in the spirit" of E-Prime
* 7 Criticisms
* 8 References
* 9 Footnotes
* 10 See also
* 11 External links"
as you can gather, it's actually a very interesting article. however, this wouldn't be the only unusual formulation of language in existence. Who's heard of esperanto? no, it isn't a coffee, car, or bean. it's an auxiliary language and guess what- there's more than one kind of auxiliary language. check it out here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Esperanto and while you're at it, look up auxiliary languages here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_auxiliary_language. these are very interesting reads, folks. seriously!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
creative envisioning...
last month, i received an unsolicited letter from an artist. her name is soojung cho and you can check out her website here: http://www.soojungcho.com/home.htm and over in my "check it out" section as well. whether she knew it or not, we are contemporaries as i spent a lot of time painting as well, not to mention all my other activity in the arts. i enjoyed having the chance to go to her site and see what she had to offer, so much so that i have been back a few times already and plan to visit again in the future.
not only do i encourage you to view her portfolio, but also her statement page as well. i could relate to her thoughts on her artistic expression and why she chooses to paint in the way that she does. i am refreshed to see such gallery quality work on display. i enjoy her recurring themes and her color choices. i think her work sets a peaceful, ambient mood in its softness. i look forward to seeing more of her works.
not only do i encourage you to view her portfolio, but also her statement page as well. i could relate to her thoughts on her artistic expression and why she chooses to paint in the way that she does. i am refreshed to see such gallery quality work on display. i enjoy her recurring themes and her color choices. i think her work sets a peaceful, ambient mood in its softness. i look forward to seeing more of her works.
online activity...
i was randomly giving thought the other day regarding my online activity. sure, i am online all the time. just ask my isp. specifically, i am referring to when i choose to join new sites. it's been years since i was a regular user of forums or taken an active interest in e-communities; after enough bad experiences, i am a tad gun shy about taking part in such places. however, that doesn't keep me from joining altogether.
what was capturing my interest the other day was my membership tracking. it seems a lot of sites keep a record of how long i have been a member, at least down to the month and year. it suddenly occurred to me that i have a tendency to join websites more during the winter months, and more specifically during february. case in point, i joined at least three sites last month and only a couple this month. its completely a subconscious action on my part. i have no idea why i follow this particular pattern, but i did think it was interesting.
so yeah, that's all i had to offer...
what was capturing my interest the other day was my membership tracking. it seems a lot of sites keep a record of how long i have been a member, at least down to the month and year. it suddenly occurred to me that i have a tendency to join websites more during the winter months, and more specifically during february. case in point, i joined at least three sites last month and only a couple this month. its completely a subconscious action on my part. i have no idea why i follow this particular pattern, but i did think it was interesting.
so yeah, that's all i had to offer...
contemplations and speculations...
perhaps it is the winter slump, perhaps it is my grandfather nearing death so soon after my grandmother's passing, or perhaps it is a culmination of things that has left me lethargic, unusually uninteractive, and generally disinterested. that doesn't mean that i have lost all interest in everything, but it has been narrowed to a slightly limited range.
the weather has been crazy, alternating between a chilling gray and a warm blue sky, it's like spring is trying desperately hard to come out, but winter is still clinging to the area. i quickly tire of winter, especially when there isn't any snow. i suppose i'm one of those folks who needs those special yellow-tinted lenses to keep my mood up. however, that isn't all that has been bothering me...
my grandfather's health has been getting progressively worse and my family bickers about it instead of doing something about it. the other day he stopped breathing for a while and it took some effort to get him to resume breathing again. this could happen to him at any time and he doesn't always have someone watching over him. i find it troubling because after personal experience, i know i am not qualified to tend to all his needs. aside from that i have taken my life off-track so many times for my grandparent's needs that it isn't even funny to consider the state i am in these days. few fully understand all this entails. however, that, too, isn't all that has been bothering me...
extenuating circumstances can put a person into a bad place in life. after two back surgeries, surgery on each foot, scratching both corneas, becoming unemployed and not qualifying for unemployment, moving to a place where i cannot walk to a job, nearly totaling my car and slowly repairing it over the last five years, losing a relative, watching the deteriorating health of other relatives, etc. etc., there is very little i am able to do now emotionally, physically, and financially speaking. I was trying to work at home by making music and and as a dj, but critical hardware failure and a most crucial juncture virtually shut down my home business since i cannot afford to repair the damages as of yet. i have adjusted my goals since then in hopes that a pursuit of interests my lead to some future stability. i am referring to learning japanese fluently and doing what is necessary to teach english. this has been giving me hope, but it is not always enough to carry my spirits...
lately i have been trying to train my ear to be more receptive to the japanese language. in addition to my lessons, i have been listening to japanese music, watching anime, reading manga aloud to get my pronunciation accurate, and i have been exposing myself to more japanese culture through my online stumbles and ordering various food products and other merchandise. the packaging has plenty to learn to read and the cuisine itself is a broadening experience. this is something i value if i should end up going to japan as i am hoping to do. i figure every little thing should help...
as i said earlier, this isn't enough to always keep my spirits rejuvenated as there are plenty of other things to enter my mind on a daily basis and weigh me down. i accept the responsibility of this emotional burden, but i wish i had a way of better dealing with many of my situations to leave my daily life feeling a little less... challenged, shall we say.
at this point in my life it seems everything revolves around finances whether i like it or not. food costs money. shelter costs money. transportation costs money. education costs money. clothing costs money. medical and dental needs cost money. there's no escaping it- living costs money, even by the most modest means. if i could secure my financial situation i feel everything else would fall neatly into place. however, that is a mighty big "if." i am still recovering from declaring bankruptcy more than seven years ago. that wasn't when everything started to fall apart, but rather upon hitting rock-bottom and things still continued to get worse in other aspects of my life. just because i am no longer in debt doesn't make things alright. i still have expenses i need to meet and i won't always have poor family members to help me when possible. this weighs heavily on my mind. i want to establish financial security before i find myself looking for a cardboard box as a home. i would like to work from home doing something i like. it should be possible. i really didn't want to sell things, collect debts, and so forth by phone, nor did i want to spend my days copy writing or data processing.
with my 35th birthday coming up this month, i am feeling especially reflective. not having a grasp on living properly as of yet is definitely regurgitated food for thought. unfortunately, answers to problems like this never come easily to me...
the weather has been crazy, alternating between a chilling gray and a warm blue sky, it's like spring is trying desperately hard to come out, but winter is still clinging to the area. i quickly tire of winter, especially when there isn't any snow. i suppose i'm one of those folks who needs those special yellow-tinted lenses to keep my mood up. however, that isn't all that has been bothering me...
my grandfather's health has been getting progressively worse and my family bickers about it instead of doing something about it. the other day he stopped breathing for a while and it took some effort to get him to resume breathing again. this could happen to him at any time and he doesn't always have someone watching over him. i find it troubling because after personal experience, i know i am not qualified to tend to all his needs. aside from that i have taken my life off-track so many times for my grandparent's needs that it isn't even funny to consider the state i am in these days. few fully understand all this entails. however, that, too, isn't all that has been bothering me...
extenuating circumstances can put a person into a bad place in life. after two back surgeries, surgery on each foot, scratching both corneas, becoming unemployed and not qualifying for unemployment, moving to a place where i cannot walk to a job, nearly totaling my car and slowly repairing it over the last five years, losing a relative, watching the deteriorating health of other relatives, etc. etc., there is very little i am able to do now emotionally, physically, and financially speaking. I was trying to work at home by making music and and as a dj, but critical hardware failure and a most crucial juncture virtually shut down my home business since i cannot afford to repair the damages as of yet. i have adjusted my goals since then in hopes that a pursuit of interests my lead to some future stability. i am referring to learning japanese fluently and doing what is necessary to teach english. this has been giving me hope, but it is not always enough to carry my spirits...
lately i have been trying to train my ear to be more receptive to the japanese language. in addition to my lessons, i have been listening to japanese music, watching anime, reading manga aloud to get my pronunciation accurate, and i have been exposing myself to more japanese culture through my online stumbles and ordering various food products and other merchandise. the packaging has plenty to learn to read and the cuisine itself is a broadening experience. this is something i value if i should end up going to japan as i am hoping to do. i figure every little thing should help...
as i said earlier, this isn't enough to always keep my spirits rejuvenated as there are plenty of other things to enter my mind on a daily basis and weigh me down. i accept the responsibility of this emotional burden, but i wish i had a way of better dealing with many of my situations to leave my daily life feeling a little less... challenged, shall we say.
at this point in my life it seems everything revolves around finances whether i like it or not. food costs money. shelter costs money. transportation costs money. education costs money. clothing costs money. medical and dental needs cost money. there's no escaping it- living costs money, even by the most modest means. if i could secure my financial situation i feel everything else would fall neatly into place. however, that is a mighty big "if." i am still recovering from declaring bankruptcy more than seven years ago. that wasn't when everything started to fall apart, but rather upon hitting rock-bottom and things still continued to get worse in other aspects of my life. just because i am no longer in debt doesn't make things alright. i still have expenses i need to meet and i won't always have poor family members to help me when possible. this weighs heavily on my mind. i want to establish financial security before i find myself looking for a cardboard box as a home. i would like to work from home doing something i like. it should be possible. i really didn't want to sell things, collect debts, and so forth by phone, nor did i want to spend my days copy writing or data processing.
with my 35th birthday coming up this month, i am feeling especially reflective. not having a grasp on living properly as of yet is definitely regurgitated food for thought. unfortunately, answers to problems like this never come easily to me...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
joke...
***a friend sent me this joke the other day. i tidied it up a bit. still makes me grin. enjoy...
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home, unexpectedly sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Just after getting into bed, the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
After a little while the little boy says, "Dark in here..." The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let alone from a little boy, replies, "Yes, it is."
Boy: I have a soccer ball.
Man: That's nice...
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No, thanks.
Boy: My dad's outside...
Man: *sighs* Ok, how much?
Boy: $250.00
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yes, it is.
Boy: I have soccer cleats...
Man: *sighs* Ok, how much this time?
Boy: $350.00
Man: Sold.
A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your cleats, soccer ball, and let's go outside and have a game of soccer." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy replies, "$600.00." The father says, "That's a terrible thing, overcharging your friend like that. That's four times what they cost when they were new. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sin."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here..." The priest says, "Don't start with that nonsense again, you little jerk. You're in my cupboard now!"
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home, unexpectedly sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Just after getting into bed, the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
After a little while the little boy says, "Dark in here..." The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let alone from a little boy, replies, "Yes, it is."
Boy: I have a soccer ball.
Man: That's nice...
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No, thanks.
Boy: My dad's outside...
Man: *sighs* Ok, how much?
Boy: $250.00
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yes, it is.
Boy: I have soccer cleats...
Man: *sighs* Ok, how much this time?
Boy: $350.00
Man: Sold.
A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your cleats, soccer ball, and let's go outside and have a game of soccer." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy replies, "$600.00." The father says, "That's a terrible thing, overcharging your friend like that. That's four times what they cost when they were new. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sin."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here..." The priest says, "Don't start with that nonsense again, you little jerk. You're in my cupboard now!"
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