My mind has been on my previous post as well as the fact that I haven't posted here in over a year. It strikes me so that the thought keep rolling around in my head: I haven't posted in over a year- close to a year and a half, actually. I never intended to let my blog go for so long, but so much has happened since I last discussed my life that this truly did slip way down on my priority list and many times when I thought about posting a new entry, I really had no desire to do so; I just didn't have the emotional energy that I felt I needed to get into deeply personal topics. I certainly wasn't planning on resuming blog entries with a rant, but it ended up happening anyway. At this point, I should talk about what has been happening in all this time and get everything up to date because I actually have set aside things that I did want to eventually share and discuss.
Anyone reading far enough back or who knows me personally will recall that my grandmother passed away in 2008 and my grandfather passed away in 2009. Things are still not fully reconciled, but have been mostly reconciled at this point. There has also been a great emotional and physical drain that accompanied it- both a conscious and subconscious shutting down that I imagine are part of the grieving process as well as depression, from which I already suffer.
At the end of 2009, My laptop died. It was brand new and I was stymied. At this point in time, I still have yet to get it repaired. I have not had what I considered an adequate opportunity to do so. My mother's laptop also foozed out, but repair was an easier process so it has already been repaired as of this past summer. My even newer desktop took a dive recently and while most of everything is ok, there are a few cosmetic damages and it is not economically feasible to get it repaired, which was a major disappointment to me.
Last year welcomed a new lunar year for the tiger, which I was rather psyched about because I was born during the year of the tiger and usually am hopeful of things looking better than usual in the coming year- not that I take it to particularly seriously, but it did give me a little fuel for hope. Well, things did not look up. I got food poisoning on my birthday. It was so bad that I suffered for months afterward, but as bad as my mother, who was ill for eight weeks at the beginning of the year and nearly lost her job as a result of being out for so long.
I also came to the unpleasant realization that I had acute hypertension; my blood pressure was so sky high that I literally thought I was going to die one weekend just before I sought medical help.I'm not much for doctors as I have had very few positive experiences with them and I no longer have medical insurance and have to pay for everything out of my unemployed pocket which already receives no financial aid whatsoever. Therefore, resigning to do this was a big step for me.
Additionally, I ended up having yet another root canal last year and I am already anticipating needing one for this year as well. I have started to lose count, but I think this will be number 11 for me. It seems mt grandmother's dental issues may have been genetic and the torch has now been passed on to me, as it were.
Speaking of medical issues, I also had another session with kidney stones this past year. Eventually I ended up going to the emergency room for help. Based on my descriptions, their tests, and what I eventually passed afterward, it would seem that I passed seven stones inside a two week period. To say the least, I was wiped out for a long time afterward.
I finally found a new doctor that I like who is local to me who genuinely takes an interest in my health and can relate to many of my situations. In the same medical center I have also found specialists who may be able to tend to my various other needs as well as a dentist in the adjoining level below. This gives me a sense of hope that I might be able to get more of my needs tended to, which haven't received treatment in literally years.
With things finally shaping up for my health, I am looking into resuming many old projects I had set aside, such as fixing my car, getting the heating and air conditioning fixed, possibly replacing the water boiler as well, and a lot of other minor tasks because let's face it, my grandparents' house was already old when we moved in and these things all needed tending to anyway. I also have projects for my room including building a bathroom and kitchen in the adjoining area because I would like to make my area more apartment-like and self-sustainable. Also on my list is doing things to resume working in music, including refinishing and upgrading my guitar, a 1965 Fender Musicmaster II. I am saving the older components for posterity. I am trying to keep it as original as possible, wherever it hasn't sustained damages from time and previous users.
This all having been said, I hope to continue the year with more interesting posts to intrigue and amuse. May the year of the rabbit be better than the tiger. So far it has been a rocky start- my mother has been to the emergency room twice two weeks ago for various problems.
Showing posts with label finances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finances. Show all posts
Friday, February 4, 2011
Saturday, May 30, 2009
of goals and destinations...
While my life may be a work in progress, I do set goals for myself along the way such as completion of chores, accomplishing projects (which sometimes sit around for a bit first, gathering lots of potential energy), and short/long-term work that I wish to do for a living. Anyone who's followed me for a while knows of my pursuit in and commitment to music (spec edm) and most likely equally aware that I am working towards a goal of teaching English in Japan. I recently came across a blurb discussing flexible careers that also pay well and I was intrigued that teaching was actually one of the options. I have always considered teaching as an underpaid and thankless job meant only for those with a passion or at least a genuine interest for such a thing. I think that reservation may only hold up to certain levels, i.e. i imagine an inner-city elementary teacher will make less than a private tutor, who will make less than an undergraduate college professor, who will make less than post secondary teacher, for instance. I am sure there is a breakdown on salary rank based on various contingencies that is more clear, but I don't have that information on hand at the present time. The article I found did actually specify a level of teaching that is more monetarily rewarding and it gave me food for thought that while I am aiming for teaching that maybe i might give consideration to seeing how far I can go in such a field (a bit of a personal challenge, as it were).
"Post Secondary Teachers
Did you know that many college teachers and university professors are retiring? You'll work on a school calendar, with summer, spring, and winter holiday vacation time if you want it. Some professors only report to campus two days a week. They make up for it by the work they do at home, but not reporting to campus every day can lead to flexibility.
You'll need a master's degree to teach at the community college level and a doctorate in your field to qualify for tenure-track professorships at four-year colleges. Positions for post-secondary teachers are predicted to rise by an exceptional 12 percent through the 2006-2016 decade. 2007 salary averages were $98,974 for professors, $69,911 for associate professors, and $58,662 for assistant professors."
Source: http://education.yahoo.net/degrees/articles/featured_six_flexible_careers_that_pay_70k.html
On a side note, I would like to reiterate that I still have no intention o giving up on music and think that pursuing teaching will be rewarding in multiple ways, including financially facilitating my pursuit in music, which is also an underpaid career field- hey, why do I keep choosing underpaid fields as career choices!?
"Post Secondary Teachers
Did you know that many college teachers and university professors are retiring? You'll work on a school calendar, with summer, spring, and winter holiday vacation time if you want it. Some professors only report to campus two days a week. They make up for it by the work they do at home, but not reporting to campus every day can lead to flexibility.
You'll need a master's degree to teach at the community college level and a doctorate in your field to qualify for tenure-track professorships at four-year colleges. Positions for post-secondary teachers are predicted to rise by an exceptional 12 percent through the 2006-2016 decade. 2007 salary averages were $98,974 for professors, $69,911 for associate professors, and $58,662 for assistant professors."
Source: http://education.yahoo.net/degrees/articles/featured_six_flexible_careers_that_pay_70k.html
On a side note, I would like to reiterate that I still have no intention o giving up on music and think that pursuing teaching will be rewarding in multiple ways, including financially facilitating my pursuit in music, which is also an underpaid career field- hey, why do I keep choosing underpaid fields as career choices!?
Friday, May 29, 2009
beware of unauthorized transactions...
Today, I was checking my bank account online and came across a transaction I did not recognize.
05/27/2009 ACH Transaction - Web Revenue Svc 4242390433 $14.95-
Some of you may have seen this before. Some of you may see it soon. I ran a few searches online. The White Pages reverse phone number search didn't turn up any results, but Google said the area code 424 is Santa Monica, California. I also turned up a very interesting search result for "Web Revenue Service."
http://800notes.com/Phone.aspx/1-424-239-0433
Guess what? Some creep is randomly conducting unauthorized account transactions. Guess what else? People are irate and I figure it won't be long before this criminal is brought to justice. Banks in particular do not take this sort of garbage lying down. My bank has already heard from me twice about this. I expect a satisfactory resolution and that is not negotiable.
So check your statements and your caller id's regularly! I have no idea how this person is getting everyone's account number, but s/he is currently actively stealing money on a frequent and regular basis! Let's put an end to criminals like this...
05/27/2009 ACH Transaction - Web Revenue Svc 4242390433 $14.95-
Some of you may have seen this before. Some of you may see it soon. I ran a few searches online. The White Pages reverse phone number search didn't turn up any results, but Google said the area code 424 is Santa Monica, California. I also turned up a very interesting search result for "Web Revenue Service."
http://800notes.com/Phone.aspx/1-424-239-0433
Guess what? Some creep is randomly conducting unauthorized account transactions. Guess what else? People are irate and I figure it won't be long before this criminal is brought to justice. Banks in particular do not take this sort of garbage lying down. My bank has already heard from me twice about this. I expect a satisfactory resolution and that is not negotiable.
So check your statements and your caller id's regularly! I have no idea how this person is getting everyone's account number, but s/he is currently actively stealing money on a frequent and regular basis! Let's put an end to criminals like this...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
fewer posts often indicate a busy mind...
...or at least it is often what my situation is.
typically, i might have had an entry last month in regards to my birthday and my various insights toward life and whatnot- believe me, there was (and still is) plenty to write about. i could have even even had a post at easter for similar reasons. perhaps because there has been so much transpiring on an emotional level that I just couldn't bring myself to start writing and it's in the advent of seeing so little entered recently that i finally feel compelled to the point of writing.
my birthday passed without a word, literally. i had fought with family enough that nothing happened on that day. no words were exchanged at all. it took mentioning my birthday online for strangers and a few friends and extended family to whom i barely speak to actually comment at all. i'm sure a few were sincere in their wishes, but it irked me that automated reminders weren't enough- i actually had to prompt people via wishing myself a happy birthday. i found out the next day a few presents were waiting for me, but i hadn't been told of this nor was i really in a present opening mood by that point.
because my grandfather's health has been deteriorating rapidly -- especially since my grandmother passed away -- i felt my family should be with him. i've already discussed this concept in previous posts so i won't bother with all the various details, except to say that my mother's ex is an absolute pig and i was dismayed we had to rely on him for transportation and subsequently his presence at our little family event. he got presents and to eat dinner and eat all the leftover meat and was still displeased about being there- not that he had any better offers because he did not. unfortunately, my uncle and cousin were unable to attend due to schedule conflicts, but my uncle said they would be able to come two weeks after that (yes, they will be in town this evening and we will all gather tomorrow for dinner). i would also like to get my great uncle more involved in our family. i think making invitations only on holidays is a back-handed compliment. i would like to see him during other times of the year which have no importance whatsoever. he is a special man to me regardless of his profession or familial relation. i simply enjoy his presence and i feel like i never get to see him enough. i am trying to get him more involved. i don't know how all this will pan out, but i am hoping for the best.
so there you have most of the familial junk going on, but there is more (oh no), but i won't get into it for now (oh phew). what i will mention is that two of my best friends, who quite ironically share the same first name, are both having very difficult times in life right now. one is emotionally unstable to very serious proportions and is having troubles arriving at her goal of marriage. the other is having serious troubles with her marriage and has been emotionally affected by most of her family passing away over the course of the past decade or so. so even their situations are ever so slightly flip-flopped as well. neither one talks to me much anymore, but when they do the alway seem to have a boat load of bad news. it's sad to hear such things from friends. i wish i could help them. as it is i can barely help myself...
maybe i will have something better to offer next time i write. the best i can do now is say that i am still interested in all things japanese and my studies are actually showing results. i have a small investment which isn't doing as much as i would like so i am considering not renewing it into rollover, but rather using some portion of it to advance aspects of my life. at my age, progressing at a snail's pace is an extremely poor option for me and i need to feel some personal growth and development because right now i am feeling very little.
typically, i might have had an entry last month in regards to my birthday and my various insights toward life and whatnot- believe me, there was (and still is) plenty to write about. i could have even even had a post at easter for similar reasons. perhaps because there has been so much transpiring on an emotional level that I just couldn't bring myself to start writing and it's in the advent of seeing so little entered recently that i finally feel compelled to the point of writing.
my birthday passed without a word, literally. i had fought with family enough that nothing happened on that day. no words were exchanged at all. it took mentioning my birthday online for strangers and a few friends and extended family to whom i barely speak to actually comment at all. i'm sure a few were sincere in their wishes, but it irked me that automated reminders weren't enough- i actually had to prompt people via wishing myself a happy birthday. i found out the next day a few presents were waiting for me, but i hadn't been told of this nor was i really in a present opening mood by that point.
because my grandfather's health has been deteriorating rapidly -- especially since my grandmother passed away -- i felt my family should be with him. i've already discussed this concept in previous posts so i won't bother with all the various details, except to say that my mother's ex is an absolute pig and i was dismayed we had to rely on him for transportation and subsequently his presence at our little family event. he got presents and to eat dinner and eat all the leftover meat and was still displeased about being there- not that he had any better offers because he did not. unfortunately, my uncle and cousin were unable to attend due to schedule conflicts, but my uncle said they would be able to come two weeks after that (yes, they will be in town this evening and we will all gather tomorrow for dinner). i would also like to get my great uncle more involved in our family. i think making invitations only on holidays is a back-handed compliment. i would like to see him during other times of the year which have no importance whatsoever. he is a special man to me regardless of his profession or familial relation. i simply enjoy his presence and i feel like i never get to see him enough. i am trying to get him more involved. i don't know how all this will pan out, but i am hoping for the best.
so there you have most of the familial junk going on, but there is more (oh no), but i won't get into it for now (oh phew). what i will mention is that two of my best friends, who quite ironically share the same first name, are both having very difficult times in life right now. one is emotionally unstable to very serious proportions and is having troubles arriving at her goal of marriage. the other is having serious troubles with her marriage and has been emotionally affected by most of her family passing away over the course of the past decade or so. so even their situations are ever so slightly flip-flopped as well. neither one talks to me much anymore, but when they do the alway seem to have a boat load of bad news. it's sad to hear such things from friends. i wish i could help them. as it is i can barely help myself...
maybe i will have something better to offer next time i write. the best i can do now is say that i am still interested in all things japanese and my studies are actually showing results. i have a small investment which isn't doing as much as i would like so i am considering not renewing it into rollover, but rather using some portion of it to advance aspects of my life. at my age, progressing at a snail's pace is an extremely poor option for me and i need to feel some personal growth and development because right now i am feeling very little.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
contemplations and speculations...
perhaps it is the winter slump, perhaps it is my grandfather nearing death so soon after my grandmother's passing, or perhaps it is a culmination of things that has left me lethargic, unusually uninteractive, and generally disinterested. that doesn't mean that i have lost all interest in everything, but it has been narrowed to a slightly limited range.
the weather has been crazy, alternating between a chilling gray and a warm blue sky, it's like spring is trying desperately hard to come out, but winter is still clinging to the area. i quickly tire of winter, especially when there isn't any snow. i suppose i'm one of those folks who needs those special yellow-tinted lenses to keep my mood up. however, that isn't all that has been bothering me...
my grandfather's health has been getting progressively worse and my family bickers about it instead of doing something about it. the other day he stopped breathing for a while and it took some effort to get him to resume breathing again. this could happen to him at any time and he doesn't always have someone watching over him. i find it troubling because after personal experience, i know i am not qualified to tend to all his needs. aside from that i have taken my life off-track so many times for my grandparent's needs that it isn't even funny to consider the state i am in these days. few fully understand all this entails. however, that, too, isn't all that has been bothering me...
extenuating circumstances can put a person into a bad place in life. after two back surgeries, surgery on each foot, scratching both corneas, becoming unemployed and not qualifying for unemployment, moving to a place where i cannot walk to a job, nearly totaling my car and slowly repairing it over the last five years, losing a relative, watching the deteriorating health of other relatives, etc. etc., there is very little i am able to do now emotionally, physically, and financially speaking. I was trying to work at home by making music and and as a dj, but critical hardware failure and a most crucial juncture virtually shut down my home business since i cannot afford to repair the damages as of yet. i have adjusted my goals since then in hopes that a pursuit of interests my lead to some future stability. i am referring to learning japanese fluently and doing what is necessary to teach english. this has been giving me hope, but it is not always enough to carry my spirits...
lately i have been trying to train my ear to be more receptive to the japanese language. in addition to my lessons, i have been listening to japanese music, watching anime, reading manga aloud to get my pronunciation accurate, and i have been exposing myself to more japanese culture through my online stumbles and ordering various food products and other merchandise. the packaging has plenty to learn to read and the cuisine itself is a broadening experience. this is something i value if i should end up going to japan as i am hoping to do. i figure every little thing should help...
as i said earlier, this isn't enough to always keep my spirits rejuvenated as there are plenty of other things to enter my mind on a daily basis and weigh me down. i accept the responsibility of this emotional burden, but i wish i had a way of better dealing with many of my situations to leave my daily life feeling a little less... challenged, shall we say.
at this point in my life it seems everything revolves around finances whether i like it or not. food costs money. shelter costs money. transportation costs money. education costs money. clothing costs money. medical and dental needs cost money. there's no escaping it- living costs money, even by the most modest means. if i could secure my financial situation i feel everything else would fall neatly into place. however, that is a mighty big "if." i am still recovering from declaring bankruptcy more than seven years ago. that wasn't when everything started to fall apart, but rather upon hitting rock-bottom and things still continued to get worse in other aspects of my life. just because i am no longer in debt doesn't make things alright. i still have expenses i need to meet and i won't always have poor family members to help me when possible. this weighs heavily on my mind. i want to establish financial security before i find myself looking for a cardboard box as a home. i would like to work from home doing something i like. it should be possible. i really didn't want to sell things, collect debts, and so forth by phone, nor did i want to spend my days copy writing or data processing.
with my 35th birthday coming up this month, i am feeling especially reflective. not having a grasp on living properly as of yet is definitely regurgitated food for thought. unfortunately, answers to problems like this never come easily to me...
the weather has been crazy, alternating between a chilling gray and a warm blue sky, it's like spring is trying desperately hard to come out, but winter is still clinging to the area. i quickly tire of winter, especially when there isn't any snow. i suppose i'm one of those folks who needs those special yellow-tinted lenses to keep my mood up. however, that isn't all that has been bothering me...
my grandfather's health has been getting progressively worse and my family bickers about it instead of doing something about it. the other day he stopped breathing for a while and it took some effort to get him to resume breathing again. this could happen to him at any time and he doesn't always have someone watching over him. i find it troubling because after personal experience, i know i am not qualified to tend to all his needs. aside from that i have taken my life off-track so many times for my grandparent's needs that it isn't even funny to consider the state i am in these days. few fully understand all this entails. however, that, too, isn't all that has been bothering me...
extenuating circumstances can put a person into a bad place in life. after two back surgeries, surgery on each foot, scratching both corneas, becoming unemployed and not qualifying for unemployment, moving to a place where i cannot walk to a job, nearly totaling my car and slowly repairing it over the last five years, losing a relative, watching the deteriorating health of other relatives, etc. etc., there is very little i am able to do now emotionally, physically, and financially speaking. I was trying to work at home by making music and and as a dj, but critical hardware failure and a most crucial juncture virtually shut down my home business since i cannot afford to repair the damages as of yet. i have adjusted my goals since then in hopes that a pursuit of interests my lead to some future stability. i am referring to learning japanese fluently and doing what is necessary to teach english. this has been giving me hope, but it is not always enough to carry my spirits...
lately i have been trying to train my ear to be more receptive to the japanese language. in addition to my lessons, i have been listening to japanese music, watching anime, reading manga aloud to get my pronunciation accurate, and i have been exposing myself to more japanese culture through my online stumbles and ordering various food products and other merchandise. the packaging has plenty to learn to read and the cuisine itself is a broadening experience. this is something i value if i should end up going to japan as i am hoping to do. i figure every little thing should help...
as i said earlier, this isn't enough to always keep my spirits rejuvenated as there are plenty of other things to enter my mind on a daily basis and weigh me down. i accept the responsibility of this emotional burden, but i wish i had a way of better dealing with many of my situations to leave my daily life feeling a little less... challenged, shall we say.
at this point in my life it seems everything revolves around finances whether i like it or not. food costs money. shelter costs money. transportation costs money. education costs money. clothing costs money. medical and dental needs cost money. there's no escaping it- living costs money, even by the most modest means. if i could secure my financial situation i feel everything else would fall neatly into place. however, that is a mighty big "if." i am still recovering from declaring bankruptcy more than seven years ago. that wasn't when everything started to fall apart, but rather upon hitting rock-bottom and things still continued to get worse in other aspects of my life. just because i am no longer in debt doesn't make things alright. i still have expenses i need to meet and i won't always have poor family members to help me when possible. this weighs heavily on my mind. i want to establish financial security before i find myself looking for a cardboard box as a home. i would like to work from home doing something i like. it should be possible. i really didn't want to sell things, collect debts, and so forth by phone, nor did i want to spend my days copy writing or data processing.
with my 35th birthday coming up this month, i am feeling especially reflective. not having a grasp on living properly as of yet is definitely regurgitated food for thought. unfortunately, answers to problems like this never come easily to me...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
back-words... just a thought or two...
*** this excerpt accompanied a photo and between the two, i had a fairly strong reaction. btw, the city is called shinjuku. here is the image link: http://www.androniki.com/images/homeless/01-Sinjuku.jpg
November 24, 2008
just a thought or two...
"Homeless in Tokyo - Tokyo
A homeless man in front of the lockers outside Keio department store. Sinjuku is a very busy area with a lot of department stores and a lot of people passing from there every day. While the shops are still open homeless people just wonder around waiting till they close so that they can lay their paper mattresses outside them and sleep. There is usually no interaction between the homeless and people passing by as homeless people don't usually beg and passers by try to ignore their presence. Tokyo, © Androniki Christodoulou"
The way homeless people are treat across the world is much the same. During the Great Depression many people were homeless due to no fault of their own. Sometimes that is still the case. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if ever I were to become homeless. That's why I try to help when I can- even when I haven't had an income. My mother and my great uncle also do what the can, each in their own way (she gives food and he is a minister at a homeless shelter). I know charity begins at home first, but sometimes I feel like my poverty may be a king's wealth to another, so I try to help when it doesn't absolutely break me because I, too, am usually hurting for money. I would be one of those people, silently hurting, never asking for help. To be in such a position is embarrassing enough as it is without having to as for help as well...
November 24, 2008
just a thought or two...
"Homeless in Tokyo - Tokyo
A homeless man in front of the lockers outside Keio department store. Sinjuku is a very busy area with a lot of department stores and a lot of people passing from there every day. While the shops are still open homeless people just wonder around waiting till they close so that they can lay their paper mattresses outside them and sleep. There is usually no interaction between the homeless and people passing by as homeless people don't usually beg and passers by try to ignore their presence. Tokyo, © Androniki Christodoulou"
The way homeless people are treat across the world is much the same. During the Great Depression many people were homeless due to no fault of their own. Sometimes that is still the case. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if ever I were to become homeless. That's why I try to help when I can- even when I haven't had an income. My mother and my great uncle also do what the can, each in their own way (she gives food and he is a minister at a homeless shelter). I know charity begins at home first, but sometimes I feel like my poverty may be a king's wealth to another, so I try to help when it doesn't absolutely break me because I, too, am usually hurting for money. I would be one of those people, silently hurting, never asking for help. To be in such a position is embarrassing enough as it is without having to as for help as well...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
back-words... general update on life and such...
*** i could've sworn i posted this somewhere, but at this moment i cant seem to locate it so here's this one...
Entry for November 12, 2008
this is one of the few blogs where i haven't posted anything in a long time, so i figured i was long overdue for providing an update in regards to things that have been transpiring in my life since my last post.
this year has seen many things: another birthday, identity theft, a self-run business slowly rise and quickly fall, admin-level status at a web site, the loss of a family member, communication briefly re-established with other family members, and contemplation of career change accompanied with going back to school again. all this is on top of the daily and other incidental stuff with which i already deal. without a doubt, it's been quite the emotional roller-coaster ride, especially when i take into consideration my past and my future.
my birthday serves as a yearly milestone where i assess how far i've come, what i've accomplished, what i'm currently doing, and what my plans are. it's not so much of a comparison with other people as much as it is a comparison with what i feel i could be doing based on a potential happy medium that i generally try to strive for- nothing too great nor too poor.
as many of you know, last year saw considerable marks in success. i released 10 albums (with a cumulative 15,000+ download result) including a collaborative album which i later remastered as a solo work which i released this year. indeed i have plans for future works, both specifically and generally speaking. after pulling off to work independently, i was accepted to sell my work with apple itunes along with several other companies online. before i was able to send my work to each of these companies, my external hard drive died, which i have described in great detail in a previous post. this put my life at an abrupt standstill. i had no backup plan. if anything, returning to music was my backup plan. due to various medical situations, i've become limited in what i can do so working at home on music seemed like my best option considering my abilities and resources. even though it seems life has other intentions for me, i will not be giving up on this dream and it is my intention to slowly rebuild my way back to where i was before and surpass that milestone.
in the meantime, i'm still limited as to what i can and can't do. time has been slowly healing physical and emotional wounds. i have had time to reconsider life, options, and so forth. an option i've been giving strong consideration to is teaching english as a second and/or foreign language, specifically in japan. why japan? because before i was a live my family had been there while my grandfather was still in the navy and i have grown up seeing all sorts of things attesting to their love of being there and i have been captivated by these relics and on my own experiences found myself gravitating to all things japanese over the course of my life, so it only seemed natural that my first thoughts were of japan. asia, in general, is seeking native-speaking english teachers for all levels of education and they are paying very well and if you get a private job, then the pay is pretty phenomenal. I could really use something that would provide a decent, reliable income. that is something i have never had- its always been decent or reliable, but never both.
so here i am trying my best to become fluent in japanese so that i can go out there and get a job teaching english, but wait- don't i need some sort of experience and educational background in that field before landing such a job? yes, indeed i do. this means completing my existing education so i don't lose all the work i've already done over the course of about 7 years in four colleges. then i need to get an additional degree and perhaps certification as well as work experience before i can even go over there and work. additionally, i will have to perform a massive overseas move as well as getting a home, which will be monumental tasks in of themselves. i've already done all the research into that as well, but i've determined this is something that i want to do and even if it takes me around 7 years to accomplish, i will get it done.
sounds great, but what about the music? that will be sitting on the back burner as little as possible while i am trying to get all these other things accomplished. another goal of the teaching would be to better afford my ability to work on music and probably the repair (if possible) of my external hard drive. if i can get that repaired, then i can get back on track where i was with music sales and continuing further album work, broadcasting, and more. everything i had previously entertained doing in the line of music i still would like to do and i think i can be successful doing that anywhere in the world.
ok, so you mentioned a lot of other stuff happening thats been messing with your abilities... yes, my grandmother passed away this year. her health has been deteriorating for several years now and this year seemed to bring some considerable problems- a broken leg, a heart attack, and then spending her final days in a hospital where she would eventually die. the last medicine the doctors gave her lead to her death. they knew it might do it and my family was informed and for some reason everyone thought it was ok to do. well, she went into a coma, stopped breathing on her own, and after two weeks they finally unplugged her life support and she died a painful, scary death. she was also buried this summer and that was also an ordeal in of itself. i saw relatives i had stopped talking to for quite some time. i saw my grandparents' latest poor choice in assistants there as well. it was not a good day. i chose to bring the dog because he is family and he has emotional problems with being left alone for various reasons. because i had him with me, i was not allowed to go inside for the memorial service which was performed by my great uncle, her brother, how ever i was allowed to attend the burial service as that was outdoors. i miss the person she sometimes was, but not the person she became. her death cemented that things would never be good between us again, much as i had already suspected. in a way i had already said my goodbyes long ago, so the day felt very awkward for me. i think everyone had slightly different feelings on that day and continue to have slightly different feelings. everyone is slightly different now and yet they're still quite the same. things have quieted up between me and my relative once again. everyone is doing what they had been before, the only difference being that my grandmother is no longer part of the picture. it's been hard dealing with things in a way i can't quite describe. i intentionally abandoned certain activities i knew i wouldn't be able to perform during that time and i have resumed most of those activities, such as career and educational research, learning japanese, and a couple of recreational things online, but not everything is back to normal.
i was an active trivia official on a website dedicated to my birth year where i posted on a weekly basis, but now i merely hold the title as i haven't done anything there for months except excuse myself from activity due to family matters. i have resumed recreationally surfing the web and talking to friends online, but i still find myself testier about many things that i used to be more patient about and i've noticed with every major life-affecting event, that i get more and more like this and i don't really care for it. it's something that i try to keep in check, but i can't quite control it 100% of the time, either.
my grandmother's passing hasn't brought much change. my grandfather has seemed to grow more bitter of her, and he continues to tire of life. many of her things have vanished and it seems the help was involved, but he rehired them instead of hiring new help. this places quite a bit of unnecessary tension around the place because my mother will not go while any of them are there and if they are, she insists they leave. my uncle lives out of state so he isn't much help in many matters unless my mother pesters him to do something by phone or during one of his rare visits.
it's hard to keep focused when you have so much swimming around in your head, even more so when you're predisposed to having problems with maintaining focus. things have been breaking down right and left this year as well. my tv died so i have to use a small old one which means i can't really read anything on it or appreciate any rental in any great detail. i can't really afford a replacement at for the time being, either. my home has flooded some more this year and it got pretty bad. i am still fighting mildew problems and telecommunications problems as a result. i've been repairing computers in hopes i can get them all completely functional so that mine will work as they used to (if not better) and i can sell some others online so that i can get a little money. finding ways to make money has been a pain because it almost always costs money to make money. i was hoping to find ways to get ahead and it seems like i am barely staying afloat, all the while i am still receiving minimal financial assistance from my mother when she is able to afford it. i am lucky as most mothers wouldn't do this. i am trying to make the best use of her financial assistance, which does not always come as the easiest of choices. there are so many distractions and oh so many things to do, and there is always more to do than before. all i can do is keep trying and keep planning and someday i might manage to make things work ok...
Entry for November 12, 2008
this is one of the few blogs where i haven't posted anything in a long time, so i figured i was long overdue for providing an update in regards to things that have been transpiring in my life since my last post.
this year has seen many things: another birthday, identity theft, a self-run business slowly rise and quickly fall, admin-level status at a web site, the loss of a family member, communication briefly re-established with other family members, and contemplation of career change accompanied with going back to school again. all this is on top of the daily and other incidental stuff with which i already deal. without a doubt, it's been quite the emotional roller-coaster ride, especially when i take into consideration my past and my future.
my birthday serves as a yearly milestone where i assess how far i've come, what i've accomplished, what i'm currently doing, and what my plans are. it's not so much of a comparison with other people as much as it is a comparison with what i feel i could be doing based on a potential happy medium that i generally try to strive for- nothing too great nor too poor.
as many of you know, last year saw considerable marks in success. i released 10 albums (with a cumulative 15,000+ download result) including a collaborative album which i later remastered as a solo work which i released this year. indeed i have plans for future works, both specifically and generally speaking. after pulling off to work independently, i was accepted to sell my work with apple itunes along with several other companies online. before i was able to send my work to each of these companies, my external hard drive died, which i have described in great detail in a previous post. this put my life at an abrupt standstill. i had no backup plan. if anything, returning to music was my backup plan. due to various medical situations, i've become limited in what i can do so working at home on music seemed like my best option considering my abilities and resources. even though it seems life has other intentions for me, i will not be giving up on this dream and it is my intention to slowly rebuild my way back to where i was before and surpass that milestone.
in the meantime, i'm still limited as to what i can and can't do. time has been slowly healing physical and emotional wounds. i have had time to reconsider life, options, and so forth. an option i've been giving strong consideration to is teaching english as a second and/or foreign language, specifically in japan. why japan? because before i was a live my family had been there while my grandfather was still in the navy and i have grown up seeing all sorts of things attesting to their love of being there and i have been captivated by these relics and on my own experiences found myself gravitating to all things japanese over the course of my life, so it only seemed natural that my first thoughts were of japan. asia, in general, is seeking native-speaking english teachers for all levels of education and they are paying very well and if you get a private job, then the pay is pretty phenomenal. I could really use something that would provide a decent, reliable income. that is something i have never had- its always been decent or reliable, but never both.
so here i am trying my best to become fluent in japanese so that i can go out there and get a job teaching english, but wait- don't i need some sort of experience and educational background in that field before landing such a job? yes, indeed i do. this means completing my existing education so i don't lose all the work i've already done over the course of about 7 years in four colleges. then i need to get an additional degree and perhaps certification as well as work experience before i can even go over there and work. additionally, i will have to perform a massive overseas move as well as getting a home, which will be monumental tasks in of themselves. i've already done all the research into that as well, but i've determined this is something that i want to do and even if it takes me around 7 years to accomplish, i will get it done.
sounds great, but what about the music? that will be sitting on the back burner as little as possible while i am trying to get all these other things accomplished. another goal of the teaching would be to better afford my ability to work on music and probably the repair (if possible) of my external hard drive. if i can get that repaired, then i can get back on track where i was with music sales and continuing further album work, broadcasting, and more. everything i had previously entertained doing in the line of music i still would like to do and i think i can be successful doing that anywhere in the world.
ok, so you mentioned a lot of other stuff happening thats been messing with your abilities... yes, my grandmother passed away this year. her health has been deteriorating for several years now and this year seemed to bring some considerable problems- a broken leg, a heart attack, and then spending her final days in a hospital where she would eventually die. the last medicine the doctors gave her lead to her death. they knew it might do it and my family was informed and for some reason everyone thought it was ok to do. well, she went into a coma, stopped breathing on her own, and after two weeks they finally unplugged her life support and she died a painful, scary death. she was also buried this summer and that was also an ordeal in of itself. i saw relatives i had stopped talking to for quite some time. i saw my grandparents' latest poor choice in assistants there as well. it was not a good day. i chose to bring the dog because he is family and he has emotional problems with being left alone for various reasons. because i had him with me, i was not allowed to go inside for the memorial service which was performed by my great uncle, her brother, how ever i was allowed to attend the burial service as that was outdoors. i miss the person she sometimes was, but not the person she became. her death cemented that things would never be good between us again, much as i had already suspected. in a way i had already said my goodbyes long ago, so the day felt very awkward for me. i think everyone had slightly different feelings on that day and continue to have slightly different feelings. everyone is slightly different now and yet they're still quite the same. things have quieted up between me and my relative once again. everyone is doing what they had been before, the only difference being that my grandmother is no longer part of the picture. it's been hard dealing with things in a way i can't quite describe. i intentionally abandoned certain activities i knew i wouldn't be able to perform during that time and i have resumed most of those activities, such as career and educational research, learning japanese, and a couple of recreational things online, but not everything is back to normal.
i was an active trivia official on a website dedicated to my birth year where i posted on a weekly basis, but now i merely hold the title as i haven't done anything there for months except excuse myself from activity due to family matters. i have resumed recreationally surfing the web and talking to friends online, but i still find myself testier about many things that i used to be more patient about and i've noticed with every major life-affecting event, that i get more and more like this and i don't really care for it. it's something that i try to keep in check, but i can't quite control it 100% of the time, either.
my grandmother's passing hasn't brought much change. my grandfather has seemed to grow more bitter of her, and he continues to tire of life. many of her things have vanished and it seems the help was involved, but he rehired them instead of hiring new help. this places quite a bit of unnecessary tension around the place because my mother will not go while any of them are there and if they are, she insists they leave. my uncle lives out of state so he isn't much help in many matters unless my mother pesters him to do something by phone or during one of his rare visits.
it's hard to keep focused when you have so much swimming around in your head, even more so when you're predisposed to having problems with maintaining focus. things have been breaking down right and left this year as well. my tv died so i have to use a small old one which means i can't really read anything on it or appreciate any rental in any great detail. i can't really afford a replacement at for the time being, either. my home has flooded some more this year and it got pretty bad. i am still fighting mildew problems and telecommunications problems as a result. i've been repairing computers in hopes i can get them all completely functional so that mine will work as they used to (if not better) and i can sell some others online so that i can get a little money. finding ways to make money has been a pain because it almost always costs money to make money. i was hoping to find ways to get ahead and it seems like i am barely staying afloat, all the while i am still receiving minimal financial assistance from my mother when she is able to afford it. i am lucky as most mothers wouldn't do this. i am trying to make the best use of her financial assistance, which does not always come as the easiest of choices. there are so many distractions and oh so many things to do, and there is always more to do than before. all i can do is keep trying and keep planning and someday i might manage to make things work ok...
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
back-words... banking frustrations...
*** this is almost more of a multi-part blog as i had additional follow-ups posted.
Friday, November 7, 2008
banking frustrations...
Recently, I came across a situation with my bank charging me a $50 penalty fee based on an error they made. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like having my money disappear unless I knowingly and willingly spend it. I thought I would share my note to them. I have yet to receive a reply. By the way, the subject line of my note to them was "NFCU makes an error and I eat a $50 penalty fee..."
Hello,
As you can infer from the subject line, I am very upset with the way NFCU has been keeping track of my account. Not only did I opt out of paper statements since my accounts are now accessible online, but I check my account on a regular basis to keep track of my balance standing so that I may ensure I do not over draft my account. NFCU, on the other hand, does not seem to live up to their promises.
If I were to overdraft on my account NFCU used to allow such a thing as long as it wasn't by too large of an amount and I would always replace the missing funds within a day or two, max. These days, NFCU will automatically prevent an overdraft from happening during the transaction at the sales location, be it online or at a store. At least NFCU will usually do that- not always. NFCU is also supposed to display pending transactions to my acount, but often those pending transactions will disappear a day or two before they are posted, thus making my account appear to have more available funds than what it actually has.
This discrepancy is a gross inconvenience when I make a point to ensure I have available funds before I make a purchase. Under the presumption that NFCU account tracking is accurate and up to date, I make a purchase. Only later, such as today via a letter in the mail, do I find that I have been hit with penalty fees amounting to $50.00 for two transactions totaling less than $22.00 that should have been able to clear based on NFCU's accounting.
Another situation like this happened a little while back where I was waiting for an e-check to clear. It was listed as pending for days beyond when it was supposed to clear. Then the pending listing was gone and I saw I still had available funds for another transaction (which I made) and I find myself hit with another penalty fee for overdraft, of all things.
Today's alert of a penalty fee hits particularly hard. I confidently conducted transactions under the presumption that NFCU was keeping my account balance accurate and thus I had funds available. Instead, I find this was apparently an inaccuracy and now my sharecheck account is showing a negative balance and NFCU withdrew what little I had in my savings account, which of course didn't even compensate for the $50 penalty that I feel I've been unjustifiable awarded. If anyone should have a penalty fee, it should be NFCU for not keeping better track of my account balance.
These days, I conduct all my transactions electronically. This should make it considerably easier for NFCU to keep my account balance as accurate as possible. I also find NFCU's arbitrary decision to charge $25 as a flat penalty fee regardless of penalty amount to be in gross abuse of its account holders. What if I had made 5 small transactions that day? That would have amounted to $125 in penalty fees! Does NFCU think that is fair? Surely, I hope not.
For years NFCU did not conduct business this way. My entire family has been using NFCU for generations and I feel NFCU has been slowly declining in appeal in recent years. It's frustrating to me to see this happen. If NFCU will not relinquish such a short leash on its account holders, the least NFCU can do is keep the account holders' accounts accurate! If NFCU cannot keep an account holder's balance up to date and accurate, then the penalty fees should be reconsidered. The reason I am faced with these penalty fees is do to NFCU's own error in displaying my account balance incorrectly. Therefore, I would like to see these penalty fees removed as they affected both my accounts adversely. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Scott Cherry
------------------------
I have a reply from my bank and it came the very next day- imagine that! Interestingly enough they removed the $50 penalty fees from my account. However, they also contradicted themselves more than once. They said it was a one time courtesy and its is in fact the second time they have removed penalty fees they charged in error. They also said they prevent overdrafting the account balance and yet they clearly dropped the ball because they failed to keep my account balance accurate and up to date when i had double-checked prior to making purchases. In essence, They said, "we're wrong, but we will pretend we are not wrong and we will more than likely make this mistake again at your expense. Without further ado, here is their reply...
Subject: NFCU makes an error and I eat a $50 penalty...
Navy Federal Response 11/07/2008 : Thank you for using Navy Federal Online. A review of your account indicates that on 3 November 2008, PAYPAL INST XFER tried to debit your account for $5.93 and $15.94 but they were returned due to insufficient funds (NSF) and your account was charged $50.00 in NSF fees. Please understand that each time the amount of a Visa Check Card Point of Sale (POS) transaction is processed and exceeds the balance in your checking account, your account will be charged $25.00. Each time a check/ACH debit is presented for payment and returned for insufficient funds, your checking account will be charged a fee of $25.00.
As requested we have waived $50.00 NSF fees as a one-time courtesy. Please note that Navy Federal will not waive any further fees unless a fee is charged due to our error.
Please note, when a member makes a purchase with a Visa Check Card, the merchant usually sends through an authorization request which is approved or disapproved. If approved, a one-day hold is placed on the checking account for the amount of the transaction. The following day, the hold is removed and the funds are returned to the checking account. This is a standard operating procedure with many financial institutions. After the hold "drops" off the account, you have the opportunity to "use" the funds again until the transaction actually posts. Since the merchant is responsible for submitting the transaction for payment, Navy Federal has no control over the amount of time this may take, in some cases, it may take several days for the actual transaction to post to the checking account.
If you have any other questions or concerns, please let us know.
Posted by scott on Saturday, November 08, 2008 - 9:33 AM
----------------------------
imagine my great dismay when i woke up this morning to find my banking institution had fucked with my account again. theyve done a better job of trying to cover their collective ass this time, yet they still contradict themselves plus the overdraft service they offer is supposed to already be covering me. does acquiring it again make life magically delicious? i think not...
Your Message 11/13/2008 : What are you doing to my account??? you just took out $50 dollars again today and I have not been conducting any transactions since I last communicated with you. I have had no notice of and failed transactions, nor any any other problems. Please stop removing $50 dollars from my account! You are supposed to refuse transactions that would overdraft my account when there are insufficient funds, not let people overdraft my account and then charge me for it. This is only few days after my last correspondence with you. Frankly, I feel like I need overdraft protection from NFCU! I've never felt so violated! Leave my account alone!
Subject: NFCU makes an error and I eat a $50 penalty...
Navy Federal Response 11/13/2008 : Thank you for your follow up message. A review of your account indicates that on 10 November, the available balance in your checking account was $1.53. On that day, PAYPAL INST XFERT tried to debit your account for $5.93 and for $15.94, but they were returned as NSF and your account was charged $50.00 in Return Check Fees.
Please be advised that when an item has been returned to the payee's bank, the payee is permitted to submit the item for payment as many times as necessary until it is paid; therefore, you will need to obtain the status of the item from the payee. Each time an item is presented for payment and is returned for insufficient funds, your checking account will be charged a fee of $25.00 the next business day.
Please note that we are unable to waive any more NSF fee as we have already waived $50.00 in Return Check fees for you as one-time courtesy. It is your responsibility to ensure that sufficient funds are available at all times in your account in case an item is presented for payment.
Our NAVchek Line of Credit service provides overdraft protection for a checking account and allows access to the credit line directly without first having to deplete the checking account balance by the negotiation of special NAVcheks. This service is available in increments of $500.00 up to a maximum of $15,000.00, subject to Credit Committee approval. The annual percentage rate (APR) on a NAVchek Line of Credit is 14.9%. The minimum monthly payment required on a NAVchek Line of Credit is 2% of the total outstanding balance shown on the monthly Statement of Account or $20.00, whichever is greater. If the account is over limit and/or past due, these amounts will be included in the amount billed on the statement.
You may apply for a NAVchek Line of Credit online by clicking on "Checking" located in the center of our Home page. When the next screen appears, click on "NAVchek Overdraft Protection" and "Apply Now" to complete the application. If you prefer, you can call 1-800-336-3333 or 703-255-2626, 24 hours a day, seven days a week to apply. If your NAVchek Line of Credit request is approved, we will mail a NAVchek Line of Credit Agreement and Disclosure for you to sign. It cannot be faxed to you or printed at a branch. Once we receive your signed agreement, we will activate your new line of credit and make it available for your use.
If you have any questions or need further assistance, please let us know.
Posted by scott on Thursday, November 13, 2008 - 5:32 PM
Friday, November 7, 2008
banking frustrations...
Recently, I came across a situation with my bank charging me a $50 penalty fee based on an error they made. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like having my money disappear unless I knowingly and willingly spend it. I thought I would share my note to them. I have yet to receive a reply. By the way, the subject line of my note to them was "NFCU makes an error and I eat a $50 penalty fee..."
Hello,
As you can infer from the subject line, I am very upset with the way NFCU has been keeping track of my account. Not only did I opt out of paper statements since my accounts are now accessible online, but I check my account on a regular basis to keep track of my balance standing so that I may ensure I do not over draft my account. NFCU, on the other hand, does not seem to live up to their promises.
If I were to overdraft on my account NFCU used to allow such a thing as long as it wasn't by too large of an amount and I would always replace the missing funds within a day or two, max. These days, NFCU will automatically prevent an overdraft from happening during the transaction at the sales location, be it online or at a store. At least NFCU will usually do that- not always. NFCU is also supposed to display pending transactions to my acount, but often those pending transactions will disappear a day or two before they are posted, thus making my account appear to have more available funds than what it actually has.
This discrepancy is a gross inconvenience when I make a point to ensure I have available funds before I make a purchase. Under the presumption that NFCU account tracking is accurate and up to date, I make a purchase. Only later, such as today via a letter in the mail, do I find that I have been hit with penalty fees amounting to $50.00 for two transactions totaling less than $22.00 that should have been able to clear based on NFCU's accounting.
Another situation like this happened a little while back where I was waiting for an e-check to clear. It was listed as pending for days beyond when it was supposed to clear. Then the pending listing was gone and I saw I still had available funds for another transaction (which I made) and I find myself hit with another penalty fee for overdraft, of all things.
Today's alert of a penalty fee hits particularly hard. I confidently conducted transactions under the presumption that NFCU was keeping my account balance accurate and thus I had funds available. Instead, I find this was apparently an inaccuracy and now my sharecheck account is showing a negative balance and NFCU withdrew what little I had in my savings account, which of course didn't even compensate for the $50 penalty that I feel I've been unjustifiable awarded. If anyone should have a penalty fee, it should be NFCU for not keeping better track of my account balance.
These days, I conduct all my transactions electronically. This should make it considerably easier for NFCU to keep my account balance as accurate as possible. I also find NFCU's arbitrary decision to charge $25 as a flat penalty fee regardless of penalty amount to be in gross abuse of its account holders. What if I had made 5 small transactions that day? That would have amounted to $125 in penalty fees! Does NFCU think that is fair? Surely, I hope not.
For years NFCU did not conduct business this way. My entire family has been using NFCU for generations and I feel NFCU has been slowly declining in appeal in recent years. It's frustrating to me to see this happen. If NFCU will not relinquish such a short leash on its account holders, the least NFCU can do is keep the account holders' accounts accurate! If NFCU cannot keep an account holder's balance up to date and accurate, then the penalty fees should be reconsidered. The reason I am faced with these penalty fees is do to NFCU's own error in displaying my account balance incorrectly. Therefore, I would like to see these penalty fees removed as they affected both my accounts adversely. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Scott Cherry
------------------------
I have a reply from my bank and it came the very next day- imagine that! Interestingly enough they removed the $50 penalty fees from my account. However, they also contradicted themselves more than once. They said it was a one time courtesy and its is in fact the second time they have removed penalty fees they charged in error. They also said they prevent overdrafting the account balance and yet they clearly dropped the ball because they failed to keep my account balance accurate and up to date when i had double-checked prior to making purchases. In essence, They said, "we're wrong, but we will pretend we are not wrong and we will more than likely make this mistake again at your expense. Without further ado, here is their reply...
Subject: NFCU makes an error and I eat a $50 penalty...
Navy Federal Response 11/07/2008 : Thank you for using Navy Federal Online. A review of your account indicates that on 3 November 2008, PAYPAL INST XFER tried to debit your account for $5.93 and $15.94 but they were returned due to insufficient funds (NSF) and your account was charged $50.00 in NSF fees. Please understand that each time the amount of a Visa Check Card Point of Sale (POS) transaction is processed and exceeds the balance in your checking account, your account will be charged $25.00. Each time a check/ACH debit is presented for payment and returned for insufficient funds, your checking account will be charged a fee of $25.00.
As requested we have waived $50.00 NSF fees as a one-time courtesy. Please note that Navy Federal will not waive any further fees unless a fee is charged due to our error.
Please note, when a member makes a purchase with a Visa Check Card, the merchant usually sends through an authorization request which is approved or disapproved. If approved, a one-day hold is placed on the checking account for the amount of the transaction. The following day, the hold is removed and the funds are returned to the checking account. This is a standard operating procedure with many financial institutions. After the hold "drops" off the account, you have the opportunity to "use" the funds again until the transaction actually posts. Since the merchant is responsible for submitting the transaction for payment, Navy Federal has no control over the amount of time this may take, in some cases, it may take several days for the actual transaction to post to the checking account.
If you have any other questions or concerns, please let us know.
Posted by scott on Saturday, November 08, 2008 - 9:33 AM
----------------------------
imagine my great dismay when i woke up this morning to find my banking institution had fucked with my account again. theyve done a better job of trying to cover their collective ass this time, yet they still contradict themselves plus the overdraft service they offer is supposed to already be covering me. does acquiring it again make life magically delicious? i think not...
Your Message 11/13/2008 : What are you doing to my account??? you just took out $50 dollars again today and I have not been conducting any transactions since I last communicated with you. I have had no notice of and failed transactions, nor any any other problems. Please stop removing $50 dollars from my account! You are supposed to refuse transactions that would overdraft my account when there are insufficient funds, not let people overdraft my account and then charge me for it. This is only few days after my last correspondence with you. Frankly, I feel like I need overdraft protection from NFCU! I've never felt so violated! Leave my account alone!
Subject: NFCU makes an error and I eat a $50 penalty...
Navy Federal Response 11/13/2008 : Thank you for your follow up message. A review of your account indicates that on 10 November, the available balance in your checking account was $1.53. On that day, PAYPAL INST XFERT tried to debit your account for $5.93 and for $15.94, but they were returned as NSF and your account was charged $50.00 in Return Check Fees.
Please be advised that when an item has been returned to the payee's bank, the payee is permitted to submit the item for payment as many times as necessary until it is paid; therefore, you will need to obtain the status of the item from the payee. Each time an item is presented for payment and is returned for insufficient funds, your checking account will be charged a fee of $25.00 the next business day.
Please note that we are unable to waive any more NSF fee as we have already waived $50.00 in Return Check fees for you as one-time courtesy. It is your responsibility to ensure that sufficient funds are available at all times in your account in case an item is presented for payment.
Our NAVchek Line of Credit service provides overdraft protection for a checking account and allows access to the credit line directly without first having to deplete the checking account balance by the negotiation of special NAVcheks. This service is available in increments of $500.00 up to a maximum of $15,000.00, subject to Credit Committee approval. The annual percentage rate (APR) on a NAVchek Line of Credit is 14.9%. The minimum monthly payment required on a NAVchek Line of Credit is 2% of the total outstanding balance shown on the monthly Statement of Account or $20.00, whichever is greater. If the account is over limit and/or past due, these amounts will be included in the amount billed on the statement.
You may apply for a NAVchek Line of Credit online by clicking on "Checking" located in the center of our Home page. When the next screen appears, click on "NAVchek Overdraft Protection" and "Apply Now" to complete the application. If you prefer, you can call 1-800-336-3333 or 703-255-2626, 24 hours a day, seven days a week to apply. If your NAVchek Line of Credit request is approved, we will mail a NAVchek Line of Credit Agreement and Disclosure for you to sign. It cannot be faxed to you or printed at a branch. Once we receive your signed agreement, we will activate your new line of credit and make it available for your use.
If you have any questions or need further assistance, please let us know.
Posted by scott on Thursday, November 13, 2008 - 5:32 PM
Saturday, January 24, 2009
back-words... life derailed and blueprinting a backup plan...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
life derailed and blueprinting a backup plan...
life derailed and blueprinting a backup plan...
I have been putting off any posts til I had something more concrete to post, but there is only one thing I can offer in case anyone has been wondering: my external hard drive has died.
Because of this hardware failure, I have been unable to mix, produce, or host weekly broadcasts as I normally would. Because my external hard drive is 2tb (read 2000gb), the cheapest repair quote I can possibly get is $6,000.00. I will also have to replace the unit that died and buy and additional back up unit so this doesn't happen again.
Needless to say, I don't have this kind of money to spend all at once. It will take me time to save up for this repair. If I am lucky, maybe I can afford the repair in a year, but I anticipate it taking about ten years instead.
Either way, it will be quite some time before release any new work or mixes. I am currently working on a way to get broadcasts done using different equipment and a different medium.
If anyone knows of a cheaper way to get my repair done, I would appreciate some feedback. If anyone would like to help out financially I could set up a donations link via Paypal, however I would rather be hired to spin or have my albums be bought online.
I would be thrilled to get my life back on track again. I'm sorry this has happened. Thank you for your support.
plur...
*********************************
That was a post I made early in April, over a month after my drive had failed. By that point, I already felt obliged to say something in regards as to why I had ceased to broadcast on a weekly basis, why I was not creating new mixes and remixes, why I was not releasing new albums, and why my work had not been distributed to more online stores for sale as I had promised. I didn't have a lot of information to offer as most of the people I had been in contact with had given me very little information to go on. I like to know as much as I can and compare services before I settle on one. After all, $6000 is a lot of money to cough up and I am not about to give it to the first person I find. I need to know if I can find cheaper, the processes involved, if it's possible for me to cut costs based on options and preferences... I want to feel comfortable and confident knowing the services to be performed will be successfully done by a reliable source.
Because of the paths my life has taken, I do not have $6000 to surrender in one fell swoop. In order to pay such a price all at once, I will need to make and save that money. Unfortunately, the drive died before I could get my music distributed to more online sources. I have only a couple places selling my work now, but they are in obscure locations which do not receive as much internet traffic as where they were going to be located. Most of the work available for sale was available for free for nearly a year so it has not been selling since its availability status changed. I trust at some point the music will start selling. When it was free, it had been down loaded over 15,000 times in less than a year. So I trust it will sell again upon finding a larger audience.
Not only do I not have $6000 to afford to repair my hard drive, my original intent was to make money from my music to afford car repairs so I could have transportation for a job. Most jobs require many things, such as a degree, experience, and reliable transportation. Having tried to work without reliable transportation previously, I know it isn't a viable option when public transportation causes frequent lateness thus threatening job security. I also lack a degree despite my years of college training. Additionally, my work history is patchy, having had to take time off to help my handicapped grandparents and even live with them for a few years. My options are reduced to nothing more than minimum wage jobs or possibly an entry level company position- still requiring reliable transportation at the very least. So i can't get a job without transportation and I can't afford to repair my transportation without a job! Vicious, isn't it? So that brought me to mixing making music and selling it. I figured I would work at home on something I love which I am also capable of doing and make at least enough to afford repairs. I also had dreams of taking my goals to higher levels. I had not planned on hard drive failure thwarting my momentum. I had no backup plan to fall back on.
So suddenly I find myself in the ugly position of wondering what I am going to do. I figure music sales and dj gigs might allow my to make enough money to afford various repairs, but it will take anywhere up to ten years or longer, depending on the strength of the income. I'm not sure I can happily sit around and wait for that kind of money to roll in bit by bit. I like to be productive. I like to feel useful. I tend to measure and assess my progress regularly, so I'm fairly confident I wouldn't like to sit around and wait to have enough money. So what can I do to expedite things?
I have looked into this before; in fact, every time I consider a new job I go through the same train of thought. Most work at home options do not appeal to me. Either I have to put some money into a kit or a phony certification process which turns out to be a scam or the work is for data entry/processing or for collections services. Years ago I was on the other end of the collections services and I can tell you I hate being felt like despicable prey. I would never do that to another person. One might say I should take any job to make money just because it pays. I have never been able to accomplish anything I couldn't put my heart into. I have done data entry/processing and I won't do it again. I have a lousy attention span and when it comes to things I have no interest in, I might as well not be doing it. I also have other limitations. I had back surgery twice. My physical endurance and general comfort level just aren't very good anymore. I find it difficult to sit, stand, lift, kneel and more. I also have developed a sensitivity to light after a scratched cornea; I can assure you migraines don't go as easily as your average headache.
So what the hell can I do??? Well, endurance can be built, but sometimes it takes years to do. It has been three years since my last back surgery. I can do more things now, but I still spend the majority of my time in my bed. I has also been about as long since I scratched my cornea. some days are worse than others, but I can usually manage to be outside in bright sunlight for about an hour before my eyes are exhausted and I start to feel a migraine coming on, both of which are painful experiences. I can withstand normal indoor lighting for even longer, but it's something I generally try to avoid; I even keep my bedroom dimly lit. I figure at the very least I can try to complete a degree or two online while I am still stuck at home. Perhaps I can get into another field that interests me which would afford my repairs. Perhaps there is other work at home, or maybe temporary work (perhaps even abroad) that I can do which will allow me to afford repairs or even more. I have always felt challenged for extra money in the past. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make to make my life even better. To be honest, I have recently been looking into teaching again. The idea of teaching English as a second/foreign language appeals to me. The idea of living abroad also has some appeal and maybe one I might make it a permanent situation, but right now it's merely a consideration as I review my possibilities for completing a degree at home.
I hope this offers some clarity as to whats going on with things in my life right now. When I have more concrete information to offer I will keep you posted. Thank you for your support.
plur...
back-words... this could kill my ability to broadcast...
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
this could kill my ability to broadcast...
as some of you know i have been broadcasting online since 2004. i have been on 6 stations. these days ive been focusing my energy on one. now its looking like i might not have a home to broadcast from anymore, because who wants to pay for permission to play something when theyre not receiving income for it? honestly, i cant say that i would. that would be a drain on my pocket. ive also heard talk of blanket fees becoming a thing of the past. this would be an even greater drain. if things continue to go the way they are now, i may no longer broadcast against my will. its hard enough trying to promote myself by posting free mixes, that when people can no longer tune in to listen, it really hurts my efforts to be a successful dj. it was also a way to promote my own production, but if stations shut down, then it becomes hard to promote myself as well. some of you may say that shoutcast is the answer. believe me, shoutcast is not the answer. i have been using shoutcast off an on. a major draw back is hosting yourself based on your computers own power. that only allows most people 3-6 listeners. a lot of djs average 15-20 on their hosted station. now thats a severe loss in listenership. the likelihood of the right listener with the right connection for a dj being one of those three listeners is highly unlikely at that rate. this becomes a problem for those of us striving for something better in life than playing for shits n giggles...
source:
http://www.betanews.com/article/Copyright_Board_Upholds_Decision_Internet_Royalty_Rates_Proceed/1176761824
Copyright Board Upholds Decision; Internet Royalty Rates Proceed
By Scott M. Fulton, III, BetaNews
April 16, 2007, 6:24 PM
Stating that Internet streaming broadcasters' objections had neither put forth new evidence nor presented any clear sign that they had made some egregious error, the three-judge US Copyright Royalty Board this afternoon ruled it would not stay its own decision last month imposing a massive, per-performance rate increase on Internet streaming broadcasters, beginning in 2008.
"We find...that none of the moving parties [that requested a rehearing] have made a sufficient showing of new evidence or a clear error or manifest injustice that would warrant a rehearing," the judges wrote. "To the contrary...most of the parties' arguments in support of a rehearing or reconsideration merely restate arguments that were made or evidence that was presented during the proceeding." While those who objected to the rates, which included National Public Radio, argued that they were putting forth new evidence, the judges wrote that such evidence was either already in the record or "could have been discovered during the proceeding, with reasonable diligence."
.. -->
However, in what could be a glimmer of hope for streaming music providers and radio stations with streaming channels, the CRB did rule that it would not impose the per-performance rate retroactive to 2006 and 2007. Instead, it would impose an increase on the "aggregate tuning hour" (ATH) method that had been employed before, but which earlier legislation had enabled streamers to forego.
While the new ATH rates will represent a rise over 2005, they may not be as intolerable as the per-performance rates. BetaNews projects, based on ATH ratings for November 2006, AOL Radio - the nation's largest streaming provider - could owe retroactive royalties of about $946,000. Likewise, Launchcast may owe $700,000, Clear Channel $365,000, and Live365.com $264,000. Had the originally planned rate gone into effect, AOL Radio might have owed $23.6 million for 2006.
A somewhat higher ATH rate will be in effect for 2007, the judges decided, though the amount that the SoundExchange performance royalty organization would collect on behalf of performing artists would still be lower than previously anticipated. But for 2008, the $0.0014 per performance rate would take effect. While that may seem impossibly small on the surface, consider the cost when multiplied by as many as 30 trillion individual song performances per year.
In a statement issued just after the ruling, SoundExchange Executive Director John Simson wrote, "Our artists and labels look forward to working with the Internet Radio industry - large and small, commercial and non-commercial - so that together we can ensure it succeeds as a place where great music is available to music lovers of all genres."
But as Trevor Moyer comments on the blog Save Our Internet Radio, "So according to the CRB, their decision, which will effectively wipe out almost all of U.S.-based Internet radio - thousands of small webcasters, college radio streaming, NPR on the net, and services like Pandora to name a few categories - is NOT a manifest injustice. Wow."
From here, the affected parties have 30 days to appeal this decision to the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia. This will likely happen. Meanwhile, streaming providers have until May 15 to pay their 2006 dues, which for some may be crippling though not fatal. And opponents of the new scheme may yet find their long-sought audience with Congress. If so, legislation may be able to change the course set by copyright judges before the Court of Appeals hears the case - which industry lawyers believe might not happen for another year, at best.
this could kill my ability to broadcast...
as some of you know i have been broadcasting online since 2004. i have been on 6 stations. these days ive been focusing my energy on one. now its looking like i might not have a home to broadcast from anymore, because who wants to pay for permission to play something when theyre not receiving income for it? honestly, i cant say that i would. that would be a drain on my pocket. ive also heard talk of blanket fees becoming a thing of the past. this would be an even greater drain. if things continue to go the way they are now, i may no longer broadcast against my will. its hard enough trying to promote myself by posting free mixes, that when people can no longer tune in to listen, it really hurts my efforts to be a successful dj. it was also a way to promote my own production, but if stations shut down, then it becomes hard to promote myself as well. some of you may say that shoutcast is the answer. believe me, shoutcast is not the answer. i have been using shoutcast off an on. a major draw back is hosting yourself based on your computers own power. that only allows most people 3-6 listeners. a lot of djs average 15-20 on their hosted station. now thats a severe loss in listenership. the likelihood of the right listener with the right connection for a dj being one of those three listeners is highly unlikely at that rate. this becomes a problem for those of us striving for something better in life than playing for shits n giggles...
source:
http://www.betanews.com/article/Copyright_Board_Upholds_Decision_Internet_Royalty_Rates_Proceed/1176761824
Copyright Board Upholds Decision; Internet Royalty Rates Proceed
By Scott M. Fulton, III, BetaNews
April 16, 2007, 6:24 PM
Stating that Internet streaming broadcasters' objections had neither put forth new evidence nor presented any clear sign that they had made some egregious error, the three-judge US Copyright Royalty Board this afternoon ruled it would not stay its own decision last month imposing a massive, per-performance rate increase on Internet streaming broadcasters, beginning in 2008.
"We find...that none of the moving parties [that requested a rehearing] have made a sufficient showing of new evidence or a clear error or manifest injustice that would warrant a rehearing," the judges wrote. "To the contrary...most of the parties' arguments in support of a rehearing or reconsideration merely restate arguments that were made or evidence that was presented during the proceeding." While those who objected to the rates, which included National Public Radio, argued that they were putting forth new evidence, the judges wrote that such evidence was either already in the record or "could have been discovered during the proceeding, with reasonable diligence."
.. -->
However, in what could be a glimmer of hope for streaming music providers and radio stations with streaming channels, the CRB did rule that it would not impose the per-performance rate retroactive to 2006 and 2007. Instead, it would impose an increase on the "aggregate tuning hour" (ATH) method that had been employed before, but which earlier legislation had enabled streamers to forego.
While the new ATH rates will represent a rise over 2005, they may not be as intolerable as the per-performance rates. BetaNews projects, based on ATH ratings for November 2006, AOL Radio - the nation's largest streaming provider - could owe retroactive royalties of about $946,000. Likewise, Launchcast may owe $700,000, Clear Channel $365,000, and Live365.com $264,000. Had the originally planned rate gone into effect, AOL Radio might have owed $23.6 million for 2006.
A somewhat higher ATH rate will be in effect for 2007, the judges decided, though the amount that the SoundExchange performance royalty organization would collect on behalf of performing artists would still be lower than previously anticipated. But for 2008, the $0.0014 per performance rate would take effect. While that may seem impossibly small on the surface, consider the cost when multiplied by as many as 30 trillion individual song performances per year.
In a statement issued just after the ruling, SoundExchange Executive Director John Simson wrote, "Our artists and labels look forward to working with the Internet Radio industry - large and small, commercial and non-commercial - so that together we can ensure it succeeds as a place where great music is available to music lovers of all genres."
But as Trevor Moyer comments on the blog Save Our Internet Radio, "So according to the CRB, their decision, which will effectively wipe out almost all of U.S.-based Internet radio - thousands of small webcasters, college radio streaming, NPR on the net, and services like Pandora to name a few categories - is NOT a manifest injustice. Wow."
From here, the affected parties have 30 days to appeal this decision to the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia. This will likely happen. Meanwhile, streaming providers have until May 15 to pay their 2006 dues, which for some may be crippling though not fatal. And opponents of the new scheme may yet find their long-sought audience with Congress. If so, legislation may be able to change the course set by copyright judges before the Court of Appeals hears the case - which industry lawyers believe might not happen for another year, at best.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
yet another year has come to pass...
...and a new one is just taking shape.
not only is it a new year, but it's also the dawn of a new presidential term. we will see how that works out. personally, i'm not holding my breath; no individual alone can save a nation and i think the country maintains a focal point on the presidential position that is perhaps overwhelmingly unfair. i am not in favor of the current man holding this position, but i also don't think he should be scapegoated in the face of overwhelming failure. after all, many factors are involved in civic actions.
aside from the political rigmarole, i'm already seeing changes taking place in my life this year and i hope the momentum continues. i've been studying japanese on my own for a good part of last year and i already am coming to understand words, phrases, and characters. i listen to japanese as much as possible hoping to train my ear to the language. it's a difficult language, but i really would like to be fluent. maybe some dreams can be reached...
my financial situation is starting to look up and if i keep handling things well, then life's unattainable necessities will soon no longer feel like such a burden. this year should bring the onset of financial stability, which is something i have been hoping for all along. all i have to do is play my cards right and mainly be patient. the downside is i didn't want to achieve this as a result of a family member preparing to pass away. because of that, i will be sure to make the best use of these finances since it is thanks to my grandfather that i have them.
speaking of my grandfather, i mentioned we nearly lost him two weeks after my grandmother's passing last year. something similar happened again in december and i am aware his health is such that he may not see this year through, so i have been going to see him during each holiday since thanksgiving in hopes that he will realize he is not alone or forgotten. i wish the rest of my family would do the same, but it hasn't been on everyone's agenda, much to my dismay. i think my family was fortunate to be there when my grandmother passed. I don't think they will have the same fortune when it is my grandfather's turn. hence, i am concerned that he should be reminded how we feel so he has no doubts.
this month i scratched my other cornea and recuperation has been excruciating, yet nowhere near as bad as the first time with the other eye. i think this cements the idea that i won't be making a living as a fine detail artist as once planned. however, i feel that shouldn't probibit me from working on music, teaching, writing or whatever else i wish to set my mind toward doing. even if my eyes get worse and they still aren't surgically correctable, i still want to forge a way for myself following a passion rather than presuming im useless and only good for something such as basket weaving. the other day i heard that man can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated and i am inclined to agree with that. no matter what obstacles cross my path or change the course of my future, i want to find a way to always persist regardless of the odds.
while i'm thinking about it, i want to convert this blog into a central repository via transferring my other blog entries to this blog. i won't be deleting the other blogs, but i think it would be nice if everything could be read from on place rather than navigating to multiple locations. in that way, this blog will truly feature all facets of my life- or at least as much as i choose to post. i may make an effort to retain original post dates to those blogs so as not to create any confusion with what is currently transpiring in my life. i hope you will enjoy those entries as i bring them over bit by bit (it's quite a lot actually).
not only is it a new year, but it's also the dawn of a new presidential term. we will see how that works out. personally, i'm not holding my breath; no individual alone can save a nation and i think the country maintains a focal point on the presidential position that is perhaps overwhelmingly unfair. i am not in favor of the current man holding this position, but i also don't think he should be scapegoated in the face of overwhelming failure. after all, many factors are involved in civic actions.
aside from the political rigmarole, i'm already seeing changes taking place in my life this year and i hope the momentum continues. i've been studying japanese on my own for a good part of last year and i already am coming to understand words, phrases, and characters. i listen to japanese as much as possible hoping to train my ear to the language. it's a difficult language, but i really would like to be fluent. maybe some dreams can be reached...
my financial situation is starting to look up and if i keep handling things well, then life's unattainable necessities will soon no longer feel like such a burden. this year should bring the onset of financial stability, which is something i have been hoping for all along. all i have to do is play my cards right and mainly be patient. the downside is i didn't want to achieve this as a result of a family member preparing to pass away. because of that, i will be sure to make the best use of these finances since it is thanks to my grandfather that i have them.
speaking of my grandfather, i mentioned we nearly lost him two weeks after my grandmother's passing last year. something similar happened again in december and i am aware his health is such that he may not see this year through, so i have been going to see him during each holiday since thanksgiving in hopes that he will realize he is not alone or forgotten. i wish the rest of my family would do the same, but it hasn't been on everyone's agenda, much to my dismay. i think my family was fortunate to be there when my grandmother passed. I don't think they will have the same fortune when it is my grandfather's turn. hence, i am concerned that he should be reminded how we feel so he has no doubts.
this month i scratched my other cornea and recuperation has been excruciating, yet nowhere near as bad as the first time with the other eye. i think this cements the idea that i won't be making a living as a fine detail artist as once planned. however, i feel that shouldn't probibit me from working on music, teaching, writing or whatever else i wish to set my mind toward doing. even if my eyes get worse and they still aren't surgically correctable, i still want to forge a way for myself following a passion rather than presuming im useless and only good for something such as basket weaving. the other day i heard that man can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated and i am inclined to agree with that. no matter what obstacles cross my path or change the course of my future, i want to find a way to always persist regardless of the odds.
while i'm thinking about it, i want to convert this blog into a central repository via transferring my other blog entries to this blog. i won't be deleting the other blogs, but i think it would be nice if everything could be read from on place rather than navigating to multiple locations. in that way, this blog will truly feature all facets of my life- or at least as much as i choose to post. i may make an effort to retain original post dates to those blogs so as not to create any confusion with what is currently transpiring in my life. i hope you will enjoy those entries as i bring them over bit by bit (it's quite a lot actually).
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
an overdue update...
this is one of the few blogs where i haven't posted anything in a long time, so i figured i was long overdue for providing an update in regards to things that have been transpiring in my life since my last post.
this year has seen many things: another birthday, identity theft, a self-run business slowly rise and quickly fall, admin-level status at a web site, the loss of a family member, communication briefly re-established with other family members, and contemplation of career change accompanied with going back to school again. all this is on top of the daily and other incidental stuff with which i already deal. without a doubt, it's been quite the emotional roller-coaster ride, especially when i take into consideration my past and my future.
my birthday serves as a yearly milestone where i assess how far i've come, what i've accomplished, what i'm currently doing, and what my plans are. it's not so much of a comparison with other people as much as it is a comparison with what i feel i could be doing based on a potential happy medium that i generally try to strive for- nothing too great nor too poor.
as many of you know, last year saw considerable marks in success. i released 10 albums (with a cumulative 15,000+ download result) including a collaborative album which i later remastered as a solo work which i released this year. indeed i have plans for future works, both specifically and generally speaking. after pulling off to work independently, i was accepted to sell my work with apple itunes along with several other companies online. before i was able to send my work to each of these companies, my external hard drive died, which i have described in great detail in a previous post. this put my life at an abrupt standstill. i had no backup plan. if anything, returning to music was my backup plan. due to various medical situations, i've become limited in what i can do so working at home on music seemed like my best option considering my abilities and resources. even though it seems life has other intentions for me, i will not be giving up on this dream and it is my intention to slowly rebuild my way back to where i was before and surpass that milestone.
in the meantime, i'm still limited as to what i can and can't do. time has been slowly healing physical and emotional wounds. i have had time to reconsider life, options, and so forth. an option i've been giving strong consideration to is teaching english as a second and/or foreign language, specifically in japan. why japan? because before i was a live my family had been there while my grandfather was still in the navy and i have grown up seeing all sorts of things attesting to their love of being there and i have been captivated by these relics and on my own eperiences found myself gravitating to all things japanese over the course of my life, so it only seemed natural that my first thoughts were of japan. asia, in general, is seeking native-speaking english teachers for all levels of education and they are paying very well and if you get a private job, then the pay is pretty phenomenal. I could really use something that would provide a decent, reliable income. that is something i have never had- its always been decent or reliable, but never both.
so here i am trying my best to become fluent in japanese so that i can go out there and get a job teaching english, but wait- don't i need some sort of experience and educational background in that field before landing such a job? yes, indeed i do. this means completing my existing education so i don't lose all the work i've already done over the course of about 7 years in four colleges. then i need to get an additional degree and perhaps certification as well as work experience before i can even go over there and work. additionally, i will have to perform a massive overseas move as well as getting a home, which will be monumental tasks in of themselves. i've already done all the research into that as well, but i've determined this is something that i want to do and even if it takes me around 7 years to accomplish, i will get it done.
sounds great, but what about the music? that will be sitting on the back burner as little as possible while i am trying to get all these other things accomplished. another goal of the teaching would be to better afford my ability to work on music and probably the repair (if possible) of my external hard drive. if i can get that repaired, then i can get back on track where i was with music sales and continuing further album work, broadcasting, and more. everything i had previously entertained doing in the line of music i still would like to do and i think i can be successful doing that anywhere in the world.
ok, so you mentioned a ot of other stuff happening thats been messing with your abilities... yes, my grandmother passed away this year. her health has been deteriorating for several years now and this year seemed to bring some considerable problems- a broken leg, a heart attack, and then spending her final days in a hospital where she would eventually die. the last medicine the doctors gave her lead to her death. they knew it might do it and my family was informed and for some reason everyone thought it was ok to do. well, she went into a coma, stopped breathing on her own, and after two weeks they finally unplugged her life support and she died a painful, scary death. she was also buried this summer and that was also an ordeal in of itself. i saw relatives i had stopped talking to for quite some time. i saw my grandparents' latest poor choice in assistants there as well. it was not a good day. i chose to bring the dog because he is family and he has emotional problems with being left alone for various reasons. because i had him with me, i was not allowed to go inside for the memorial service which was performed by my great uncle, her brother, how ever i was allowed to attend the burial service as that was outdoors. i miss the person she sometimes was, but not the person she became. her death cemented that things would never be good between us again, much as i had already suspected. in a way i had already said my goodbyes long ago, so the day felt very awkward for me. i think everyone had slightly different feelings on that day and continue to have slightly different feelings. everyone is slightly different now and yet they're still quite the same. things have quieted up between me and my relative once again. everyone is doing what they had been before, the only difference being that my grandmother is no longer part of the picture. it's been hard dealing with things in a way i can't quite describe. i intentionally abandoned certain activities i knew i wouldn't be able to perfom during that time and i have resumed most of those activities, such as career and educational research, learning japanese, and a couple of recreational things online, but not everything is back to normal.
i was an active trivia official on a website dedicated to my birth year where i posted on a weekly basis, but now i merely hold the title as i havent done anything there for months except excuse myself from activity due to family matters. i have resumed recreationally surfing the web and talking to friends online, but i still find myself testier about many things that i used to be more patient about and i've noticed with every major life-affecting event, that i get more and more like this and i don't really care for it. it's something that i try to keep in check, but i can't quite control it 100% of the time, either.
my grandmother's passing hasn't brought much change. my grandfather has seemed to grow more bitter of her, and he continues to tire of life. many of her things have vanished and it seems the help was involved, but he rehired them instead of hiring new help. this places quite a bit of unnecessary tension around the place because my mother will not go while any of them are there and if they are, she insists they leave. my uncle lives out of state so he isn't much help in many matters unless my mother pesters him to do something by phone or during one of his rare visits.
it's hard to keep focused when you have so much swimming around in your head, even more so when you're predisposed to having problems with maintaining focus. things have been breaking down right and left this year as well. my tv died so i have to use a small old one which means i can't really read anything on it or appreciate any rental in any great detail. i can't really affor a replacement at for the time being, either. my home has flooded some more this year and it got pretty bad. i am still fighting mildew problems and telecommunications problems as a result. i've been repairing computers in hopes i can get them all completely functional so that mine will work as they used to (if not better) and i can sell some others online so that i can get a little money. finding ways to make money has been a pain because it almost always costs money to make money. i was hoping to find ways to get ahead and it seems like i am barely staying afloat, all the while i am still receiving minimal financial assistance from my mother when she is able to afford it. i am lucky as most mothers wouldn't do this. i am trying to make the best use of her financial assistance, which does not always come as the easiest of choices. there are so many distractions and oh so many things to do, and there is always more to do than before. all i can do is keep trying and keep planning and someday i might manage to make things work ok...
this year has seen many things: another birthday, identity theft, a self-run business slowly rise and quickly fall, admin-level status at a web site, the loss of a family member, communication briefly re-established with other family members, and contemplation of career change accompanied with going back to school again. all this is on top of the daily and other incidental stuff with which i already deal. without a doubt, it's been quite the emotional roller-coaster ride, especially when i take into consideration my past and my future.
my birthday serves as a yearly milestone where i assess how far i've come, what i've accomplished, what i'm currently doing, and what my plans are. it's not so much of a comparison with other people as much as it is a comparison with what i feel i could be doing based on a potential happy medium that i generally try to strive for- nothing too great nor too poor.
as many of you know, last year saw considerable marks in success. i released 10 albums (with a cumulative 15,000+ download result) including a collaborative album which i later remastered as a solo work which i released this year. indeed i have plans for future works, both specifically and generally speaking. after pulling off to work independently, i was accepted to sell my work with apple itunes along with several other companies online. before i was able to send my work to each of these companies, my external hard drive died, which i have described in great detail in a previous post. this put my life at an abrupt standstill. i had no backup plan. if anything, returning to music was my backup plan. due to various medical situations, i've become limited in what i can do so working at home on music seemed like my best option considering my abilities and resources. even though it seems life has other intentions for me, i will not be giving up on this dream and it is my intention to slowly rebuild my way back to where i was before and surpass that milestone.
in the meantime, i'm still limited as to what i can and can't do. time has been slowly healing physical and emotional wounds. i have had time to reconsider life, options, and so forth. an option i've been giving strong consideration to is teaching english as a second and/or foreign language, specifically in japan. why japan? because before i was a live my family had been there while my grandfather was still in the navy and i have grown up seeing all sorts of things attesting to their love of being there and i have been captivated by these relics and on my own eperiences found myself gravitating to all things japanese over the course of my life, so it only seemed natural that my first thoughts were of japan. asia, in general, is seeking native-speaking english teachers for all levels of education and they are paying very well and if you get a private job, then the pay is pretty phenomenal. I could really use something that would provide a decent, reliable income. that is something i have never had- its always been decent or reliable, but never both.
so here i am trying my best to become fluent in japanese so that i can go out there and get a job teaching english, but wait- don't i need some sort of experience and educational background in that field before landing such a job? yes, indeed i do. this means completing my existing education so i don't lose all the work i've already done over the course of about 7 years in four colleges. then i need to get an additional degree and perhaps certification as well as work experience before i can even go over there and work. additionally, i will have to perform a massive overseas move as well as getting a home, which will be monumental tasks in of themselves. i've already done all the research into that as well, but i've determined this is something that i want to do and even if it takes me around 7 years to accomplish, i will get it done.
sounds great, but what about the music? that will be sitting on the back burner as little as possible while i am trying to get all these other things accomplished. another goal of the teaching would be to better afford my ability to work on music and probably the repair (if possible) of my external hard drive. if i can get that repaired, then i can get back on track where i was with music sales and continuing further album work, broadcasting, and more. everything i had previously entertained doing in the line of music i still would like to do and i think i can be successful doing that anywhere in the world.
ok, so you mentioned a ot of other stuff happening thats been messing with your abilities... yes, my grandmother passed away this year. her health has been deteriorating for several years now and this year seemed to bring some considerable problems- a broken leg, a heart attack, and then spending her final days in a hospital where she would eventually die. the last medicine the doctors gave her lead to her death. they knew it might do it and my family was informed and for some reason everyone thought it was ok to do. well, she went into a coma, stopped breathing on her own, and after two weeks they finally unplugged her life support and she died a painful, scary death. she was also buried this summer and that was also an ordeal in of itself. i saw relatives i had stopped talking to for quite some time. i saw my grandparents' latest poor choice in assistants there as well. it was not a good day. i chose to bring the dog because he is family and he has emotional problems with being left alone for various reasons. because i had him with me, i was not allowed to go inside for the memorial service which was performed by my great uncle, her brother, how ever i was allowed to attend the burial service as that was outdoors. i miss the person she sometimes was, but not the person she became. her death cemented that things would never be good between us again, much as i had already suspected. in a way i had already said my goodbyes long ago, so the day felt very awkward for me. i think everyone had slightly different feelings on that day and continue to have slightly different feelings. everyone is slightly different now and yet they're still quite the same. things have quieted up between me and my relative once again. everyone is doing what they had been before, the only difference being that my grandmother is no longer part of the picture. it's been hard dealing with things in a way i can't quite describe. i intentionally abandoned certain activities i knew i wouldn't be able to perfom during that time and i have resumed most of those activities, such as career and educational research, learning japanese, and a couple of recreational things online, but not everything is back to normal.
i was an active trivia official on a website dedicated to my birth year where i posted on a weekly basis, but now i merely hold the title as i havent done anything there for months except excuse myself from activity due to family matters. i have resumed recreationally surfing the web and talking to friends online, but i still find myself testier about many things that i used to be more patient about and i've noticed with every major life-affecting event, that i get more and more like this and i don't really care for it. it's something that i try to keep in check, but i can't quite control it 100% of the time, either.
my grandmother's passing hasn't brought much change. my grandfather has seemed to grow more bitter of her, and he continues to tire of life. many of her things have vanished and it seems the help was involved, but he rehired them instead of hiring new help. this places quite a bit of unnecessary tension around the place because my mother will not go while any of them are there and if they are, she insists they leave. my uncle lives out of state so he isn't much help in many matters unless my mother pesters him to do something by phone or during one of his rare visits.
it's hard to keep focused when you have so much swimming around in your head, even more so when you're predisposed to having problems with maintaining focus. things have been breaking down right and left this year as well. my tv died so i have to use a small old one which means i can't really read anything on it or appreciate any rental in any great detail. i can't really affor a replacement at for the time being, either. my home has flooded some more this year and it got pretty bad. i am still fighting mildew problems and telecommunications problems as a result. i've been repairing computers in hopes i can get them all completely functional so that mine will work as they used to (if not better) and i can sell some others online so that i can get a little money. finding ways to make money has been a pain because it almost always costs money to make money. i was hoping to find ways to get ahead and it seems like i am barely staying afloat, all the while i am still receiving minimal financial assistance from my mother when she is able to afford it. i am lucky as most mothers wouldn't do this. i am trying to make the best use of her financial assistance, which does not always come as the easiest of choices. there are so many distractions and oh so many things to do, and there is always more to do than before. all i can do is keep trying and keep planning and someday i might manage to make things work ok...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
life derailed & blueprinting a backup plan...
I have been putting off any posts til I had something more concrete to post, but there is only one thing I can offer in case anyone has been wondering: my external hard drive has died.
Because of this hardware failure, I have been unable to mix, produce, or host weekly broadcasts as I normally would. Because my external hard drive is 2tb (read 2000gb), the cheapest repair quote I can possibly get is $6,000.00. I will also have to replace the unit that died and buy and additional back up unit so this doesn't happen again.
Needless to say, I don't have this kind of money to spend all at once. It will take me time to save up for this repair. If I am lucky, maybe I can afford the repair in a year, but I anticipate it taking about ten years instead.
Either way, it will be quite some time before release any new work or mixes. I am currently working on a way to get broadcasts done using different equipment and a different medium.
If anyone knows of a cheaper way to get my repair done, I would appreciate some feedback. If anyone would like to help out financially I could set up a donations link via Paypal, however I would rather be hired to spin or have my albums be bought online.
I would be thrilled to get my life back on track again. I'm sorry this has happened. Thank you for your support.
plur...
*********************************
That was a post I made early in April, over a month after my drive had failed. By that point, I already felt obliged to say something in regards as to why I had ceased to broadcast on a weekly basis, why I was not creating new mixes and remixes, why I was not releasing new albums, and why my work had not been distributed to more online stores for sale as I had promised. I didn't have a lot of information to offer as most of the people I had been in contact with had given me very little information to go on. I like to know as much as I can and compare services before I settle on one. After all, $6000 is a lot of money to cough up and I am not about to give it to the first person I find. I need to know if I can find cheaper, the processes involved, if it's possible for me to cut costs based on options and preferences... I want to feel comfortable and confident knowing the services to be performed will be successfully done by a reliable source.
Because of the paths my life has taken, I do not have $6000 to surrender in one fell swoop. In order to pay such a price all at once, I will need to make and save that money. Unfortunately, the drive died before I could get my music distributed to more online sources. I have only a couple places selling my work now, but they are in obscure locations which do not receive as much internet traffic as where they were going to be located. Most of the work available for sale was available for free for nearly a year so it has not been selling since its availability status changed. I trust at some point the music will start selling. When it was free, it had been down loaded over 15,000 times in less than a year. So I trust it will sell again upon finding a larger audience.
Not only do I not have $6000 to afford to repair my hard drive, my original intent was to make money from my music to afford car repairs so I could have transportation for a job. Most jobs require many things, such as a degree, experience, and reliable transportation. Having tried to work without reliable transportation previously, I know it isn't a viable option when public transportation causes frequent lateness thus threatening job security. I also lack a degree despite my years of college training. Additionally, my work history is patchy, having had to take time off to help my handicapped grandparents and even live with them for a few years. My options are reduced to nothing more than minimum wage jobs or possibly an entry level company position- still requiring reliable transportation at the very least. So i can't get a job without transportation and I can't afford to repair my transportation without a job! Vicious, isn't it? So that brought me to mixing making music and selling it. I figured I would work at home on something I love which I am also capable of doing and make at least enough to afford repairs. I also had dreams of taking my goals to higher levels. I had not planned on hard drive failure thwarting my momentum. I had no backup plan to fall back on.
So suddenly I find myself in the ugly position of wondering what I am going to do. I figure music sales and dj gigs might allow my to make enough money to afford various repairs, but it will take anywhere up to ten years or longer, depending on the strength of the income. I'm not sure I can happily sit around and wait for that kind of money to roll in bit by bit. I like to be productive. I like to feel useful. I tend to measure and assess my progress regularly, so I'm fairly confident I wouldn't like to sit around and wait to have enough money. So what can I do to expedite things?
I have looked into this before; in fact, every time I consider a new job I go through the same train of thought. Most work at home options do not appeal to me. Either I have to put some money into a kit or a phony certification process which turns out to be a scam or the work is for data entry/processing or for collections services. Years ago I was on the other end of the collections services and I can tell you I hate being felt like despicable prey. I would never do that to another person. One might say I should take any job to make money just because it pays. I have never been able to accomplish anything I couldn't put my heart into. I have done data entry/processing and I won't do it again. I have a lousy attention span and when it comes to things I have no interest in, I might as well not be doing it. I also have other limitations. I had back surgery twice. My physical endurance and general comfort level just aren't very good anymore. I find it difficult to sit, stand, lift, kneel and more. I also have developed a sensitivity to light after a scratched cornea; I can assure you migraines don't go as easily as your average headache.
So what the hell can I do??? Well, endurance can be built, but sometimes it takes years to do. It has been three years since my last back surgery. I can do more things now, but I still spend the majority of my time in my bed. I has also been about as long since I scratched my cornea. some days are worse than others, but I can usually manage to be outside in bright sunlight for about an hour before my eyes are exhausted and I start to feel a migraine coming on, both of which are painful experiences. I can withstand normal indoor lighting for even longer, but it's something I generally try to avoid; I even keep my bedroom dimly lit. I figure at the very least I can try to complete a degree or two online while I am still stuck at home. Perhaps I can get into another field that interests me which would afford my repairs. Perhaps there is other work at home, or maybe temporary work (perhaps even abroad) that I can do which will allow me to afford repairs or even more. I have always felt challenged for extra money in the past. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make to make my life even better. To be honest, I have recently been looking into teaching again. The idea of teaching English as a second/foreign language appeals to me. The idea of living abroad also has some appeal and maybe one I might make it a permanent situation, but right now it's merely a consideration as I review my possibilities for completing a degree at home.
I hope this offers some clarity as to whats going on with things in my life right now. When I have more concrete information to offer I will keep you posted. Thank you for your support.
plur...
Because of this hardware failure, I have been unable to mix, produce, or host weekly broadcasts as I normally would. Because my external hard drive is 2tb (read 2000gb), the cheapest repair quote I can possibly get is $6,000.00. I will also have to replace the unit that died and buy and additional back up unit so this doesn't happen again.
Needless to say, I don't have this kind of money to spend all at once. It will take me time to save up for this repair. If I am lucky, maybe I can afford the repair in a year, but I anticipate it taking about ten years instead.
Either way, it will be quite some time before release any new work or mixes. I am currently working on a way to get broadcasts done using different equipment and a different medium.
If anyone knows of a cheaper way to get my repair done, I would appreciate some feedback. If anyone would like to help out financially I could set up a donations link via Paypal, however I would rather be hired to spin or have my albums be bought online.
I would be thrilled to get my life back on track again. I'm sorry this has happened. Thank you for your support.
plur...
*********************************
That was a post I made early in April, over a month after my drive had failed. By that point, I already felt obliged to say something in regards as to why I had ceased to broadcast on a weekly basis, why I was not creating new mixes and remixes, why I was not releasing new albums, and why my work had not been distributed to more online stores for sale as I had promised. I didn't have a lot of information to offer as most of the people I had been in contact with had given me very little information to go on. I like to know as much as I can and compare services before I settle on one. After all, $6000 is a lot of money to cough up and I am not about to give it to the first person I find. I need to know if I can find cheaper, the processes involved, if it's possible for me to cut costs based on options and preferences... I want to feel comfortable and confident knowing the services to be performed will be successfully done by a reliable source.
Because of the paths my life has taken, I do not have $6000 to surrender in one fell swoop. In order to pay such a price all at once, I will need to make and save that money. Unfortunately, the drive died before I could get my music distributed to more online sources. I have only a couple places selling my work now, but they are in obscure locations which do not receive as much internet traffic as where they were going to be located. Most of the work available for sale was available for free for nearly a year so it has not been selling since its availability status changed. I trust at some point the music will start selling. When it was free, it had been down loaded over 15,000 times in less than a year. So I trust it will sell again upon finding a larger audience.
Not only do I not have $6000 to afford to repair my hard drive, my original intent was to make money from my music to afford car repairs so I could have transportation for a job. Most jobs require many things, such as a degree, experience, and reliable transportation. Having tried to work without reliable transportation previously, I know it isn't a viable option when public transportation causes frequent lateness thus threatening job security. I also lack a degree despite my years of college training. Additionally, my work history is patchy, having had to take time off to help my handicapped grandparents and even live with them for a few years. My options are reduced to nothing more than minimum wage jobs or possibly an entry level company position- still requiring reliable transportation at the very least. So i can't get a job without transportation and I can't afford to repair my transportation without a job! Vicious, isn't it? So that brought me to mixing making music and selling it. I figured I would work at home on something I love which I am also capable of doing and make at least enough to afford repairs. I also had dreams of taking my goals to higher levels. I had not planned on hard drive failure thwarting my momentum. I had no backup plan to fall back on.
So suddenly I find myself in the ugly position of wondering what I am going to do. I figure music sales and dj gigs might allow my to make enough money to afford various repairs, but it will take anywhere up to ten years or longer, depending on the strength of the income. I'm not sure I can happily sit around and wait for that kind of money to roll in bit by bit. I like to be productive. I like to feel useful. I tend to measure and assess my progress regularly, so I'm fairly confident I wouldn't like to sit around and wait to have enough money. So what can I do to expedite things?
I have looked into this before; in fact, every time I consider a new job I go through the same train of thought. Most work at home options do not appeal to me. Either I have to put some money into a kit or a phony certification process which turns out to be a scam or the work is for data entry/processing or for collections services. Years ago I was on the other end of the collections services and I can tell you I hate being felt like despicable prey. I would never do that to another person. One might say I should take any job to make money just because it pays. I have never been able to accomplish anything I couldn't put my heart into. I have done data entry/processing and I won't do it again. I have a lousy attention span and when it comes to things I have no interest in, I might as well not be doing it. I also have other limitations. I had back surgery twice. My physical endurance and general comfort level just aren't very good anymore. I find it difficult to sit, stand, lift, kneel and more. I also have developed a sensitivity to light after a scratched cornea; I can assure you migraines don't go as easily as your average headache.
So what the hell can I do??? Well, endurance can be built, but sometimes it takes years to do. It has been three years since my last back surgery. I can do more things now, but I still spend the majority of my time in my bed. I has also been about as long since I scratched my cornea. some days are worse than others, but I can usually manage to be outside in bright sunlight for about an hour before my eyes are exhausted and I start to feel a migraine coming on, both of which are painful experiences. I can withstand normal indoor lighting for even longer, but it's something I generally try to avoid; I even keep my bedroom dimly lit. I figure at the very least I can try to complete a degree or two online while I am still stuck at home. Perhaps I can get into another field that interests me which would afford my repairs. Perhaps there is other work at home, or maybe temporary work (perhaps even abroad) that I can do which will allow me to afford repairs or even more. I have always felt challenged for extra money in the past. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make to make my life even better. To be honest, I have recently been looking into teaching again. The idea of teaching English as a second/foreign language appeals to me. The idea of living abroad also has some appeal and maybe one I might make it a permanent situation, but right now it's merely a consideration as I review my possibilities for completing a degree at home.
I hope this offers some clarity as to whats going on with things in my life right now. When I have more concrete information to offer I will keep you posted. Thank you for your support.
plur...
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