My mind has been on my previous post as well as the fact that I haven't posted here in over a year. It strikes me so that the thought keep rolling around in my head: I haven't posted in over a year- close to a year and a half, actually. I never intended to let my blog go for so long, but so much has happened since I last discussed my life that this truly did slip way down on my priority list and many times when I thought about posting a new entry, I really had no desire to do so; I just didn't have the emotional energy that I felt I needed to get into deeply personal topics. I certainly wasn't planning on resuming blog entries with a rant, but it ended up happening anyway. At this point, I should talk about what has been happening in all this time and get everything up to date because I actually have set aside things that I did want to eventually share and discuss.
Anyone reading far enough back or who knows me personally will recall that my grandmother passed away in 2008 and my grandfather passed away in 2009. Things are still not fully reconciled, but have been mostly reconciled at this point. There has also been a great emotional and physical drain that accompanied it- both a conscious and subconscious shutting down that I imagine are part of the grieving process as well as depression, from which I already suffer.
At the end of 2009, My laptop died. It was brand new and I was stymied. At this point in time, I still have yet to get it repaired. I have not had what I considered an adequate opportunity to do so. My mother's laptop also foozed out, but repair was an easier process so it has already been repaired as of this past summer. My even newer desktop took a dive recently and while most of everything is ok, there are a few cosmetic damages and it is not economically feasible to get it repaired, which was a major disappointment to me.
Last year welcomed a new lunar year for the tiger, which I was rather psyched about because I was born during the year of the tiger and usually am hopeful of things looking better than usual in the coming year- not that I take it to particularly seriously, but it did give me a little fuel for hope. Well, things did not look up. I got food poisoning on my birthday. It was so bad that I suffered for months afterward, but as bad as my mother, who was ill for eight weeks at the beginning of the year and nearly lost her job as a result of being out for so long.
I also came to the unpleasant realization that I had acute hypertension; my blood pressure was so sky high that I literally thought I was going to die one weekend just before I sought medical help.I'm not much for doctors as I have had very few positive experiences with them and I no longer have medical insurance and have to pay for everything out of my unemployed pocket which already receives no financial aid whatsoever. Therefore, resigning to do this was a big step for me.
Additionally, I ended up having yet another root canal last year and I am already anticipating needing one for this year as well. I have started to lose count, but I think this will be number 11 for me. It seems mt grandmother's dental issues may have been genetic and the torch has now been passed on to me, as it were.
Speaking of medical issues, I also had another session with kidney stones this past year. Eventually I ended up going to the emergency room for help. Based on my descriptions, their tests, and what I eventually passed afterward, it would seem that I passed seven stones inside a two week period. To say the least, I was wiped out for a long time afterward.
I finally found a new doctor that I like who is local to me who genuinely takes an interest in my health and can relate to many of my situations. In the same medical center I have also found specialists who may be able to tend to my various other needs as well as a dentist in the adjoining level below. This gives me a sense of hope that I might be able to get more of my needs tended to, which haven't received treatment in literally years.
With things finally shaping up for my health, I am looking into resuming many old projects I had set aside, such as fixing my car, getting the heating and air conditioning fixed, possibly replacing the water boiler as well, and a lot of other minor tasks because let's face it, my grandparents' house was already old when we moved in and these things all needed tending to anyway. I also have projects for my room including building a bathroom and kitchen in the adjoining area because I would like to make my area more apartment-like and self-sustainable. Also on my list is doing things to resume working in music, including refinishing and upgrading my guitar, a 1965 Fender Musicmaster II. I am saving the older components for posterity. I am trying to keep it as original as possible, wherever it hasn't sustained damages from time and previous users.
This all having been said, I hope to continue the year with more interesting posts to intrigue and amuse. May the year of the rabbit be better than the tiger. So far it has been a rocky start- my mother has been to the emergency room twice two weeks ago for various problems.
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 26, 2009
back-words... improving self-esteem...
Sunday, May 2, 2005
improving self-esteem...
i've been looking around at stuff online as usual and i stumbled across something i thought would be useful to not only to me, but to anyone. it's not just for improvement, it's good for maintenance, too!
1. Spend some time getting to know yourself. Do some thinking about what makes you "you." This doesn't necessarily mean hours of reflection (although some of that is good as well). You can also learn a lot more about who you are by getting out in the world and doing things. Meet people, take up hobbies, volunteer — you'll discover much about the world and reinforce your own sense of self at the same time. Get involved in your life!
2. Act. When you're feeling insecure or doubting your abilities, don't hide away. Take a deep breath, get out there, and do the very things you're unsure about ... even if you have to start small. If, for example, you want to act in a play, but you're not sure you can do it, why not sign up for a very small part? You'll build your confidence.
3. Conquer fear: take risks. Sometimes life requires a small "leap of faith." You'll feel good that you took some risks, even if they don't always work out as well as you hope. At least you can say you tried!
4. Stand up for yourself. Low self-esteem often leads to lack of assertiveness; and when we don't voice what we want and need, we end up feeling worse about who we are. Build your assertiveness skills, and it will get easier in time.
5. Set personal goals. Decide where you'd like to go, and make a reasonable, yet challenging, plan to get there. Set deadlines and a system of rewards to keep you going. (A goal, by the way, doesn't have to be a huge life decision, like "become a doctor". It can be anything you want to have in your life, like "Make one new friend" or "Learn to make jam.")
6. Learn from — but let go of — mistakes. Absolutely everyone, no matter how perfect they may seem, messes up from time to time. This is how we learn — like the process of learning to walk as children. If we don't stumble, we don't learn how to keep our balance. Keep this in mind as you venture out into the world. Be gentle with yourself.
7. Do things on your own — don't rely on others to make you feel good. One potential trap of a shaky self-esteem is dependency on others. The real truth is, if you feel a void inside, no one can fill it but you. While healthy relationships are important for happiness, more important is the relationship we have with ourselves.
8. Don't compare yourself to others. You may look at someone and think they have something you don't, but the fact is they may be looking at you and thinking the very same thing. Someone may be better than you are at tennis, for example, but you can tell a much better joke. Judge yourself by your own standards, for you are unique!
9. Associate with people who affirm who you are. Do you have toxic relationships with people who criticize you or make you feel small? Take a good look at the people you surround yourself with and how they affect your self-esteem.
10.Learn to say "no." You will be surprised how much simpler it is than you think. When you really can't or don't want to do something, say so. (In, of course, a polite and non-aggressive manner.)
11. Practice truthfulness. Avoid white lies. We often fib because we think we are sparing feelings or making things easier, but dishonesty only ends up making us feel bad about ourselves. Don't present a false face.
12. Practice positive affirmations. Write down 5 or 10 things you really like about yourself. And next time a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with something positive.
13. Find things you enjoy. Whether it's sewing, drawing, swimming or karate, hobbies are a big self-esteem booster. Even if we are not experts, doing something for the pleasure and challenge builds our sense of who we are.
14. Use visualization techniques. If you're anxious or doubtful about your ability to do something (ask your boss for a raise or compete in a marathon, for example), practice visualizing that moment in detail. Imagine yourself pulling it off smoothly. It'll lower your fear and boost your confidence.
15. Enhance your ability to cope with stress. It's not so easy to believe in yourself if you're stressed out. Develop a repertoire of strategies for calming your spirit and incorporate them into your life as much as possible (like reading a good book, talking to friends, riding a horse or taking a bubble bath).
16. Shun perfectionism. Interestingly, there is a high correlation between perfectionism and low self-esteem. The more you strive to be perfect, the more frustrated you become when you realize it's impossible! Be aware of any perfectionist tendencies you have and keep them in check.
17. Make a list of your accomplishments. Include anything that made you feel good about yourself, without thinking about whether it is technically an "accomplishment" or not. (Your ability to relate to children, your chess talent, the amazing cookies you make, the great short story you wrote.) Refer to it whenever you need a boost.
18. Live in the moment. The more time you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, the more of the present you are wasting. Life is NOW, and you should get out there and embrace it.
19. Do things for others. It's easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget that there are people out there who are in need. Give to others (your time, company, whatever you have to share) and you'll find yourself feeling better about yourself.
20. Take care of yourself physically. Eat well, get enough sleep, kick nasty habits and get some exercise. Treat your body like it deserves to be treated!
Tips To Help With Positive Thinking: Negative Thoughts & Helpful Alternatives
n. Other people seem so much more confident (or successful, popular, etc.) than me.
p. In all areas of life, you can always find people who are better or luckier than you and people who are worse or less fortunate than you.
n. I don't have any talent.
p. I'll try to do the best I can.
n. I have no discipline, no will power.
p. I'm not going to give up!
n. I'm a complete failure.
p.Making mistakes is only human.
n. I'm worthless, no good.
p. My qualities include ... (make a list)
n. I have no patience whatsoever.
p. I can do anything if I put enough time and effort into it.
n. I'll never be able to ...
p. I can do anything if I put enough time and effort into it.
n. I don't have any brains.
p. I can do anything if I put enough time and effort into it.
n. I'm a born loser.
p. I have a good family life. That's all that matters.
n. I'm so weird.
p. Many things are more important than looks.
improving self-esteem...
i've been looking around at stuff online as usual and i stumbled across something i thought would be useful to not only to me, but to anyone. it's not just for improvement, it's good for maintenance, too!
1. Spend some time getting to know yourself. Do some thinking about what makes you "you." This doesn't necessarily mean hours of reflection (although some of that is good as well). You can also learn a lot more about who you are by getting out in the world and doing things. Meet people, take up hobbies, volunteer — you'll discover much about the world and reinforce your own sense of self at the same time. Get involved in your life!
2. Act. When you're feeling insecure or doubting your abilities, don't hide away. Take a deep breath, get out there, and do the very things you're unsure about ... even if you have to start small. If, for example, you want to act in a play, but you're not sure you can do it, why not sign up for a very small part? You'll build your confidence.
3. Conquer fear: take risks. Sometimes life requires a small "leap of faith." You'll feel good that you took some risks, even if they don't always work out as well as you hope. At least you can say you tried!
4. Stand up for yourself. Low self-esteem often leads to lack of assertiveness; and when we don't voice what we want and need, we end up feeling worse about who we are. Build your assertiveness skills, and it will get easier in time.
5. Set personal goals. Decide where you'd like to go, and make a reasonable, yet challenging, plan to get there. Set deadlines and a system of rewards to keep you going. (A goal, by the way, doesn't have to be a huge life decision, like "become a doctor". It can be anything you want to have in your life, like "Make one new friend" or "Learn to make jam.")
6. Learn from — but let go of — mistakes. Absolutely everyone, no matter how perfect they may seem, messes up from time to time. This is how we learn — like the process of learning to walk as children. If we don't stumble, we don't learn how to keep our balance. Keep this in mind as you venture out into the world. Be gentle with yourself.
7. Do things on your own — don't rely on others to make you feel good. One potential trap of a shaky self-esteem is dependency on others. The real truth is, if you feel a void inside, no one can fill it but you. While healthy relationships are important for happiness, more important is the relationship we have with ourselves.
8. Don't compare yourself to others. You may look at someone and think they have something you don't, but the fact is they may be looking at you and thinking the very same thing. Someone may be better than you are at tennis, for example, but you can tell a much better joke. Judge yourself by your own standards, for you are unique!
9. Associate with people who affirm who you are. Do you have toxic relationships with people who criticize you or make you feel small? Take a good look at the people you surround yourself with and how they affect your self-esteem.
10.Learn to say "no." You will be surprised how much simpler it is than you think. When you really can't or don't want to do something, say so. (In, of course, a polite and non-aggressive manner.)
11. Practice truthfulness. Avoid white lies. We often fib because we think we are sparing feelings or making things easier, but dishonesty only ends up making us feel bad about ourselves. Don't present a false face.
12. Practice positive affirmations. Write down 5 or 10 things you really like about yourself. And next time a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with something positive.
13. Find things you enjoy. Whether it's sewing, drawing, swimming or karate, hobbies are a big self-esteem booster. Even if we are not experts, doing something for the pleasure and challenge builds our sense of who we are.
14. Use visualization techniques. If you're anxious or doubtful about your ability to do something (ask your boss for a raise or compete in a marathon, for example), practice visualizing that moment in detail. Imagine yourself pulling it off smoothly. It'll lower your fear and boost your confidence.
15. Enhance your ability to cope with stress. It's not so easy to believe in yourself if you're stressed out. Develop a repertoire of strategies for calming your spirit and incorporate them into your life as much as possible (like reading a good book, talking to friends, riding a horse or taking a bubble bath).
16. Shun perfectionism. Interestingly, there is a high correlation between perfectionism and low self-esteem. The more you strive to be perfect, the more frustrated you become when you realize it's impossible! Be aware of any perfectionist tendencies you have and keep them in check.
17. Make a list of your accomplishments. Include anything that made you feel good about yourself, without thinking about whether it is technically an "accomplishment" or not. (Your ability to relate to children, your chess talent, the amazing cookies you make, the great short story you wrote.) Refer to it whenever you need a boost.
18. Live in the moment. The more time you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, the more of the present you are wasting. Life is NOW, and you should get out there and embrace it.
19. Do things for others. It's easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget that there are people out there who are in need. Give to others (your time, company, whatever you have to share) and you'll find yourself feeling better about yourself.
20. Take care of yourself physically. Eat well, get enough sleep, kick nasty habits and get some exercise. Treat your body like it deserves to be treated!
Tips To Help With Positive Thinking: Negative Thoughts & Helpful Alternatives
n. Other people seem so much more confident (or successful, popular, etc.) than me.
p. In all areas of life, you can always find people who are better or luckier than you and people who are worse or less fortunate than you.
n. I don't have any talent.
p. I'll try to do the best I can.
n. I have no discipline, no will power.
p. I'm not going to give up!
n. I'm a complete failure.
p.Making mistakes is only human.
n. I'm worthless, no good.
p. My qualities include ... (make a list)
n. I have no patience whatsoever.
p. I can do anything if I put enough time and effort into it.
n. I'll never be able to ...
p. I can do anything if I put enough time and effort into it.
n. I don't have any brains.
p. I can do anything if I put enough time and effort into it.
n. I'm a born loser.
p. I have a good family life. That's all that matters.
n. I'm so weird.
p. Many things are more important than looks.
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