back-words... poem...

I submitted this poem for a game called Mabinogi on 1/15/14. Unfortunately I did not win the contest, but I enjoyed creating this piece.

 

in-game name: Kusachiho

server: Alexina

Mabinogi Winter Merriment

A trusty dog and sled is all I need

to coast icescapes, making monsters bleed.

Choice of weapon matters not,

In every way, I'll slaughter the entire lot.

Even bare-handed, I will tear

through every last bear.

In the end, I'll marvel with glee

that I leveled exponentially.

After the threat has been eliminated,

I'll note that I hardly hesitated

and setup a campfire to cook,

thinking, "Eat your heart out, Nanook."

 

back-words... more old poetry...

I was sifting thru old email (circa '99 onward) and came across some works that I hadn't recorded elsewhere nor backed up to here. I know this is the first post in ages, but writing about all that has happened in this time will have to be set aside for one or more posts. Ironically, the reason I was even doing this has a little to do with why I was gone, however I was not expecting to find things to post!

going, going, gone

i reached out

into the darkness

and grabbed nothing.

now i have

what i didn't before...

i stared out

into the brightness

and went blind.

now i see

what i didn't before...

i stepped out

into the emptiness

and fate prevailed.

now i feel

what i didn't before...

unitled lyrics

gimme a dime i'll give you the time livin lovin as one

as separate beings individuals we face the world as

entities searching for that higher place searching for

the love we need gotta be gotta have oh that state of

mind the oneness the singularity of the two making a

whole we gotta take the time to realize to sympathize

to know the differences between what's right and

what's wrong we gotta be quick to decide gotta know

the answer can't make another mistake how ya learn the

lesson hard can be the killer and then you fade

away...

 

 

memories

 

memories, 

like autumn leaves, 

fall where they may 

into their place in time, 

only to be scattered and lost 

by whispers of age 

and hint of new colors 

to show 

on the tree of life...

poem...

I wrote this recently after about a month of various incidents and was feeling very contemplative about things when the first few lines started to come to me one evening. I had considered making it a little longer and expanding on some concepts further but decided that this was succinct enough as it was. It isn't my best work but it's ok and it came from genuine feelings so it's quite valid as it stands. 

Life...

A person comes.
A person goes.
Another comes back
And a new one arrives,
Yet one is gone for good.
Much is learned.
Much is forgotten
And more experiences
Await on the horizon,
Some of which we have,
Some of which others have,
And good or bad,
The cycle continues...

back-words... recent poems...

If you have been following my blog from the beginning, you will be familiar with the heading "back-words," which is my little play on words indicating writings from the past. Previous writings can come from various sources, such as blogs, notebooks, as well as randomly found articles on which to scribble.
Today's back-words is an assortment of writings I came across in a small memo book I've been keeping for important reminders, temporary record keeping, as well as random thoughts and drawings. The book is starting to get a little worn and pages are coming loose so I thought I might as well remove some pertinent pages to transcribe over here. I hope you enjoy this small collection...


There are questions
that I cannot yet answer
which are deep in meaning
and require fuzzy logic
for finding an answer,
however these questions
easily and quickly
take a backseat
in my mind
when I am with you.
I can find security
in knowledge
and the truth of things,
but I find comfort in you.
Easily, in the name of love,
these issues that I endlessly ponder
can wait for another time,
and often have.

-----

please forgive my tooty
which may not have been very fruity,
or maybe it was
and that's the problem.
all i did was
lift my booty
and out it came: poot, poot, pooty.
i lift my booty
so it's nice and loud.
i squeeze really hard
so it'll come out proud.
then i can walk a away
knowing it's strong
and i feel better
all day long hoping that
the gas i passed
will last and last.
sharing a good vibration
is only part of the sensation...

*note: this was inspired by my uncle's brand of humor and was created for him.

-----

shall we take a chance?
let's go out and dance.
the summer is full of romance.
i don't care if we can't stay out late.
maybe it's destiny or fate.
this moment is another chance
for our souls to be together.

-----

i stand at the threshold
of a new life.
as always,
it is just the beginning
so the future isn't clear
and how to get to my goal
is precarious.
nonetheless,
i will try
and do what i can

-----

so many tales told
of love saving one's life,
winning one's affection,
and of course
feeling love which isn't returned.
i'd do anything
for love,
anything...

-----

sometimes i feel jealous
of joyous lyrics
because they sound great,
but i've never been able
to write like that.
i don't write much
once i am swept away.

-----

pastimes no more-
we used to sit on the floor
and listen to music
and dance in silence
just because we were happy.
we used to eat outside
under trees and giant parasols
when the weather was fair
and the food was handmade.
we used to wear simple clothes
decorated with colorful threads
and simple beads.
we used to dream
and let our minds wander,
yet all this has changed
over the years.
what happened?

birthday haiku...

I wrote a little haiku for a friend of mine because it was his birthday today. I thought I would post it here as well for posterity sake. I hope you enjoy it, too.

another year here
your friends want to see you smile
a milestone is made

easter haiku...

this was off the top of my head and sent to my cousin and uncle on easter.
neither of them ever acknowledged it so i guess it wasn't very good...


easter

the rabbit brings eggs
you eat some yummy candy
this is a nice day

poem...

the will of love

when we pass on,
time goes on.
would you still love me
from where we lie?
will our souls entwine;
would our essence combine
for one last time?
there's a chance
we might dance
on the leaves of trees,
waltzing in the breeze
in love, endlessly;
you and i, eternally,
in dust and snow
as seasons come and go...
would you be mine
til the end of time?

poem...

my good wish

my good wish reaches out
from the ether to touch my heart.
the feeling, profound as always,
sends my emotions soaring.
sometimes i wish that good wish
was for me and me alone,
but i know that wish is selfish
and is easier said than done.
my good wish is adoring,
kind, gentle, and searches for ways
to bring happiness while we're apart.
my good wish is special, without a doubt.

back-words... poem...

January 16, 2008
sweat

over here, over there
cuff you to a chair.
give you a mouthful,
pull your hair.
nibble on an ear,
taste a salty tear-
can't get enough
of that sexy stuff
called lovin'...

back-words... haiku...

*** originally this was untitled, but i think surprise makes a nifty title. it's the only haiku i have written that i can think of- at least, there wasn't any in my archive. i hope you enjoy this one...

Monday, November 10, 2008
haiku...
surprise

sipping her hot tea,
she choked spitting in disgust,
this is old water.

back-words... poem...

Saturday, September 20, 2008
poem...
you are

you are my peace rose,
you are my sunshine,
you are my moon beam,
you are my everything --
and i love you.

you are my blue bell,
you are my precious treasure,
you are my velvet butterfly,
you are my everything --
and i love you.

back-words... poem...

Saturday, August 9, 2008
poem...
Random Grazing

Traces of booze in my milk…
Kitty says no,
But I would trade you a bone any day.
Please don't hide-
But life is so difficult.
I think, therefore my thoughts wander…

A drinking vessel by any other name
Would stain just the same,
So change your glass often
And clean your glasses, too,
For life may offer
A clearer point of view.

Children dancing in the elements…
Free spirits and ghosts of the past
Haunt the shadows of my mind.
I would give life to you
If I knew you would keep it
And return the favor…

back-words... poem...

Sunday, July 27, 2008
poem...
Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I could taste your lips
After you've eaten something delectable.

Sometimes I wish your scent would linger
As you walk past me.

Sometimes I wish your breath would catch my ear
When we are one.

Sometimes I wish I could hold your body
Because being near you isn't close enough.

back-words... poem...

Friday, December 28, 2007
poem...
My Solemn Kiss

In the heat of the moment;
In love and anger,
I long to bite you;
To place my mark upon you-
A seal,
A promise,
A vow…
My commitment,
Regardless where life may lead,
To you,
Always and forever.
Shedding tears of delight,
Even through burning pain,
For my love for you
Knows no limits.
This bite,
This kiss,
This love
Is my promise
Bound unto you.

back-words... poem...

Friday, December 28, 2007
poem...
Chance

Let me place my scar upon you
As you would place yours upon me.
Sweet whispers drift
Into eternity,
Where memories fade
And love aches
For a sugar-coated dream.
Let me lie with you
And turn hope
Into reality.
A love like ours could explode
Beyond hopes and dreams;
All we have to do is try…
I see the answer in your eyes
And you are all I need.

back-words... poem...

Monday, December 3, 2007
poem...
kiss

kisses so powerful
that your emotions want to burst
like fireworks in the sky...
this kiss,
so sweet,
so tender-
one last kiss,
i love you,
i miss you already,
let me remember your lips like this...
tearful and joyous,
later you can still taste your love on your lips
and a familiar scent lingering on your clothes-
you will reflect and smile
at the thought that you shared
something so pure with someone
who magically stirs your emotions
like no other.
until next time,
just one more kiss...

back-words... poetry - pt.12

*** as mentioned, this is the last of the archive i had at the time. i believe i posted 6 poems per entry for a total of 72 poems. these poems date as early as when i was in 7th grade. i had written poetry as early as third grade (that i can recall), but i can't seem to locate any of it. i continued to write in high school and less once i got into college and even less afterward to the point where i was having short creative spurts every once in a while. to this day, i still write, but probably nowhere near as often as anyone would like. also as mentioned, any poetry dating after this entry is new and was not previously in my archive. thank you for taking the time to read through my works, no matter how serious or silly some of them may have been. the creative mind works in mysterious ways. i hope you will continue to enjoy my works i post them.

Friday, September 28, 2007
poetry...
ok this is the last of it. from now on, everything you see will be brand spankin' new! enjoy...


View of Heaven

To hear her
speaking
to me,
is to hear
the sound of music
pouring through my ears.
When I see her face,
I see
the golden, dusky horizons,
with Hell, fragmenting, at its edges.
Love,
as impenetrable as pure, undaunted essence;
is warmer than the sun
and just as brilliantly luminescent
after nightfall.
Thus, the world,
for me,
never ends.

____________________________________________



warmth

in my dungeon
where candles glow,
you rest against a stony wall, moist.
your hair is disheveled and in your face;
by your gaze, i know you're lost in thought.
your body is cold,
but you ignore the inviting warmth
of the candles twinkling.
the puddles are as black as the shadows;
they, too, ignore the candles.
you acknowledge my presence
before your eyes turn to mine.
i know what's on your mind-
your darkest desires,
speaking volumes and i sense
the urgency of your need.
fuck me, you say,
but it isn't a request.
it isn't coy and dirty;
you need to feel again.
alive, whole, loved...
i know, i need it, too.
dusk fades and your needs build,
just as my urges begin
to dominate my mind...
i want to do unspeakable things to you,
but you're not phased;
you want my touch,
softly, firmly, lovingly,
to express all the love of my heart,
to express all my feelings
through touch...
words are unnecessary now.
it's the warmth of touch-
love me,
hurt me,
fuck me...

_________________________________________________



Washed Clean

Cleansing purification
trickles down, slowly--
refreshing and revitalizing--
flushed without restraint.

______________________________________________



with all my heart

to the end of time
at the end of the rainbow
where light can't shine
in the midst of chaos
during pure bliss
through all sorrow
i regret i wasn't enough
i couldn't keep you
i tried so hard
you i shall forever miss
you i shall forever love…

_____________________________________________


Without a Flair

To deceive and disallude
Used to be the fortitude;
This was all I could conclude.
But now, things are different.
Things have changed.
It is quite apparent
Things have been rearranged
While I was out.
But I do not pout.
Whether or not somebody is about,
The matter has not any care;
Nobody could test me, even if they dare.
Nothing can disturb me nor destruct my lair.

__________________________________________



You and I on a Journey of Time

Whilst the days away with thou...
Come with me and I'll show you wonders, indeed.
Fly by the clouds, pass the trees;
The magical wizard-nymph demonstrates a few marvels...
Distracted, not to abide by Time, you sway over on your left and spectate
while the village children cast pebbles into the fountain.
Belated to the inner force outside of yourself (even though it's yours),
you soar up into the afternoon sun and journey with the horizon.
The scheduled list is forgotten and all is lost...
Be without despair now, we can soon live another day;
Time to commemorate to futile persuasions and
snitch goodies from the cookie jar while the authorities are elsewhere...
Somewhere in the past, but hasn't come yet, will be a "was" in the "future."
Heavenly orbs revolve about that distinguishing aura
and yet the inconceivable occurs, still.
Sound minds relate to still bodies, except in the World of No Return.
Yes, still creatures are to have been happening, yet, barely start now...
And the whimsical song still continues on, enchantedly.

_______________________________________________



you'll never see

i've been through a lot
sometimes you're all i've got
but you just don't care

you can stare and stare
but you will never see
what you mean to me

it'll make you want to scream
it'll never make you see
but you'll never be with me

i've have enough of your lies
i can see it in your eyes
no matter how i try to believe

it makes me want to scream
but you will never see
why you wont be with me

you can stare and stare
but you will never see
how mean you've been to me

it'll make you scream and cry
but you'll never see why
you'll never be with me

you refuse to see
just how cruel you are to me
it makes me want to die

____________________________________________
welp, thats it! i hope you enjoyed my archive. most of it was very old, but some was new. some was serious and some was light-hearted. i hope you will read more when i have some to share. thanks again...

back-words... poetry - pt.11

Thursday, September 27, 2007
poetry...
ready for more poetry? well, here it is! enjoy...


Thus Dawns on Me the Mourn of Norm

Norm is gone,
He was in Nam -
But now he's gone.
The planes came back,
But greeting him we did lack.
So he didn't come,
Nothing else.
This was only some;
No one else.
War is done,
And he still isn't around
For us to have some fun;
But now I understand he's in the ground,
Nowhere else.

A tear well up in the little boy's eye. As he wipes his runny nose, the tear rolls down his cheek and off his chin. The drop flies down and splashes on the dry, dusty earth and is soon absorbed. In front of the child a stone is half-embedded in front of a mound. He kneels down, hugs the cold cement, and backs up leaving the tombstone tear stained.

_____________________________________________



Total Bleakness

Fire, hatred, and death
Is all I can write about in one breath.
Frustration, humiliation, and depression --
Sadness seems to be my obsession.
We're all trapped by giant guardians.
My jokes are obsolescent and my happiness is in oblivion.

______________________________________________



Truly Provoked

In which to all creatures endure pain and strife,
thus creates a whole new theoretical life.
Enriching all prospects - whether they be profound or not.
Thus to which her beauty forms gods obscure to anyone's plot.
It's logicality has no importance - heavenly forms bring upon
unintelligible beauties honored only by those worships brought
out by insecurities that cannot be resolved.

________________________________________



Trying to Survive

Here I sit on a lazy Sunday afternoon,
collecting my thoughts and feelings.
I cry a little over some things
and laugh over others.
I sip my coffee slowly
and feel the melancholy
slip inside and take over.
Some tears are bitter.
Some are sweet.
Some are desperately sad
and terribly clingy,
especially to things and people
from my past.
While my feelings don't last
long, they do continually haunt
my mind to no end;
I find no relief,
nor do i find any answers.
Sadly to say,
I bear on, always...
always...

____________________________________________



Upon the Twilight Mist

What stars from these eyes
Are cast down dusk fields unknown to man!
What stars from these eyes
Do dazzling lights tantalize?
And why is man
Often referred to as a "human being?"
Why must a legion wander around unseeing,
Is to achieve far less than you and I.

_________________________________________



Verses of Knowledge

"Does the imagination dwell the most
Upon a woman won or a woman lost?"
-Yeats

Such sweet sorrow of love presses upon my mind.
Sweet lover's sorrow rips my mind, my heart, and my soul.
Engaging in memories past,
Frequenting favorite haunts...
Trying to catch tides
that wash foam
on the beach,
Sewing together
an unmendable heart,
Watching a salty drop of water
cascade from her eye --
or was it mine,
or perhaps both.
I felt feelings,
Now I haven't any...
Numbness was and is
too hard to cope with;
Oh if there were only a way
to fade away
from this horrid existence.
There's no way
to make peace
with one's self;
Another conflict
always arrives.
Emotional turmoil
leads to verbal vomit.
Then comes insanity...
What a disturbance life can be.
Yet life's dirge plays on.
"Why," you ask,
I'll tell you why.
For all these things
and much, much more:
love,
beauty,
sunsets,
roses,
passion,
desire,
and even hate,
for without hate
we wouldn't have love.
There are way too many things to list.
Before making that final choice...
Remember to keep in mind
all the gorgeous people
that light up your life,
That special person,
with a twinkle in the eye,
who lights up the room,
Face glows when laughing,
And makes you feel
so good inside.
Yes, love is
what works
the magic
of life.
If you don't find that person,
Then there is nothing.

____________________________________________
thank you for reading. more to come...

back-words... poetry - pt.10

Tuesday, September 25, 2007
poetry...
time for 6 more poems, y'all! enjoy...


The Travesty

Showering in the dark...
Have you ever tried to shower in the dark?
That's how a blind man bathes.
He doesn't need it -- light, that is,
and it would only be a waste.
A waste . . . indeed!
. . . of time,
. . . of energy,
. . . of space
and everything.
What a travesty!
"Run! Run far away!"
said I and the man.
But the tattooed man did not move—
only his pictures did.
"What happened to your painting? It was beautiful!"
"Oh, I threw it out."
"But it was exquisite!!!"
"I know."
What a travesty!
Completely shivering,
he returned to assault,
but he didn't make it!
The dragon gave in.
Falsehoods have been known to be spread that way--
through big egos.
What a travesty!
I have been known
to have known
those who have come and went.
But I say differently--
I say they have known me.
What a fool! And what a travesty!
Who knew? And who would have ever known?

______________________________________________



There's a Purity in the Breeze

Be overwhelmed by the magnificence
Of the Poppies --
Their dew drop petals
And admire the glory as a fragrance settles.
The trees
Smell of incense
And the tender soil is cool.
Refreshing is the crystalline, shallow water pool.

_______________________________________________



This is Just to Say...

That
I wish
You would
Forgive
Me
For stuffing you
Inside
That locker
And
Closing the door.
I know
That
It was not nice,
But
You
Made
Me
Mad.

__________________________________________________



Thoughts of Her

With pen in hand,
I try to put my thoughts
and feelings to paper.
It never seems
to come out very well.
You see, I know
what I feel,
but it's so hard
to find the right way
to express myself.
For instance,
I met a girl the other day,
and I couldn't express
the thoughts I wanted to say.
The feelings I have felt
are quite well known,
for they are the feelings
that become love.
I met this girl the other day,
and there were so many things
that I had wanted to say.
I had questions
I had wanted to ask.
I wanted to know
if she felt what I felt.
I wondered if the feelings
that I felt were mutual.
I had wondered
if she was as confused as I.
I wondered if she
feared revealing
her feelings, too.
I wondered just how much
she loved me, if at all.
I wondered if we possibly had
any future at all.
As time flies by,
I get bolder
and say what I want to say,
and then I regret
that I hadn't said them earlier.
For I discovered
she felt the same way.

________________________________________________



Thoughts of You

Here I am,
Looking out the window,
Seeing what I can see
And seeing nothing that appeals to me.
What I do see
Is a frowning face
Looking back at me.

It's such a shame to see
A free spirit that should be
Blithe and glee --
Instead it's full of tears,
Sorrows and fears.
The pain sears
In my heart and soul.
On me, this takes its toll.

It breaks my heart to see you cry.
Don't ask me.
I'm not sure why.
But something deep,
down inside
crumbles when I see you hurt.
Such pain should be denied.
For it makes me
want to run and hide.

________________________________________________



Thus Dawns a New Morn

White, wild winds rasp in the air
and send frigid chills of frost
over the grass
in the meadowlands.

Humble bats alight in the belfry
and snooze the morning away
in a deep somber slumber.

Crickets have sung jittery tunes
'til first light creeps
over the mountain peaks;
Mountain peaks whose summits
arose and collided with daylight
that cries out happy tidings
of tomorrow, and those yet to come.

The sage, and ever wise, old owl
succumbs to the dawn
just breaking out,
and over the horizon.

A bunny sips the fresh, sweet dew
collected in a leaf
over the duration
of the morning.

_________________________________________________
hope you enjoyed it. more to come...

back-words... poetry - pt.9

Sunday, September 22, 2007
poetry...
it's that time again for more poetry from my archive! enjoy...


Suicide

The day was short,
but we had fun.
Come in and stay for awhile,
you said, but I had to go.
So I kissed your cheek
and I went home
with a good feeling.
That evening, I dropped by,
but you weren't there;
and that's all I thought,
nothing more.
I came back a few days later
and again you weren't there;
I had no idea
what had happened to you
or what you had done.
It is finished now
and so are you,
as I found out this morning:
you are no longer…

___________________________________________



Talk of Death

No dinner for me tonight, hon --
Call 9-1-1;
The accident was caused by my son.
The deed was done.
I'm afraid he's taken my life.
Now the strife
Shall start,
For he has stabbed me with a knife
In the heart.
Dear wife,In spirit, we shall never part.
It's time to say goodbye;
For soon I shall die.
Now I feel myself slipping away.
Farewell and good day.

_________________________________________________



Terminal Love

I had a dream last night.
You were in it.
It was the last time you were hurt--
You needed me
And I was buried,
Twelve feet down in the dirt.
I came for you, but
You weren't there.
I cried aloud to the skies above,
Searching comfort for my soul;
Seeking for some little thing --
A minute portion of sympathy
Easing me of such a scare.
I just couldn't believe that you weren't there.
I don't know why, it didn't seem true
That a love such as mine
Couldn't be proved to you.
I screeched with rage
And jumped off the crumbled cliff's edge
Into the frothy, blue-gray sea.
As I sank to the bottom,
I felt my anxiety diminish
And contemplated the issue:
Should I experience death
Quickly or slowly?
So I decided to keep my final breath
For a while longer and explore
The latter possibility.
It seemed to me an eternity,
But it was only a few more minutes.
This time, though,
Was quite sufficient
To ponder a few thoughts
Such as love
And what it meant to me.

______________________________________________



That's What Mama Said

There is good and bad
as well as happy and sad.
Do what you are feeling,
as long as nobody hits the ceiling.
Do what you can to aid others,
because they're your sisters and brothers.

___________________________________________________



The Plunder

Over the misty moor
From the Hellish caves of his grim lair,
Grendel with fierce ravenous stride came stepping.
A shadow under the pale moon he moved,
That demon from Hell, foul enemy of God,
Toward Heorot. He beheld it from afar, the gleaming roof
Towering high to heaven. His tremendous hands
Struck the studded door, wrenched it from the hinges
Till the wood splintered and the bolts burst apart.
Furiously he stalked over the polished floor,
A horrid glint in his eyes - a torch flaming!
As he scanned the warriors, deep-drugged in sleep,
Loud, loud he laughed, and pouncing on the nearest
Tore him limb from limb and swallowed him whole,
Sucking the blood in streams, crunching on his bones.
Half-gorged, his grotesque voracity still unslaked
Greedily he reached his hand for the next...

___________________________________________________



The Startling Truth

Life is a shock -
You live, you die;
We dream, but we don't live up to them;
We only have our fantasies, so we remember them in grace.

Heaven, O Lord,
help the mighty who are weak in their heart.
Keep those in mind,
so that they may retain their beauty.
Let us bathe in wholesomeness and gradually
represent the decree that calls us "men."

Let thy body be received in our hearts with glory;
have your fairness made ready to persist and continue at our fantastic goals.

Shall we succeed,
you and I,
we shall be together,
as one.
Our oneness is ultimately the guaranteed success that will benefit all mankind.
The destiny to come is blindly here now.

_______________________________________________
amazing how 6 poems at a time can fly by so quickly! in two more days i will have another six for y'all. see ya later...