back-words... March 28, 1974...

Saturday, March 26, 2005
March 28, 1974...
ok, so ive got another birthday crawling up on me and i'm turning thirty-one. an aries, a tiger, what have you... a nice guy, my soul is well rounded as i am passionate about art, photography, poetry, literature, and music. i love to analyze and get philosophical. i love to explore and discover. i am as eager to socialize with a close circle of friends as i am to keep to myself. i have found a decent balance and i enjoy who i am... in a superficial world, however, i am constantly reminded that people are measured by what they have to show for themselves... what you possess defines who you are and defines your personal success... hmm, but i do not agree with that line of thinking, and in fact, i feel quite the opposite. i feel that success is measured by personal growth, integrity, happiness, and fulfillment of personal need- none of which is tangible. so i measure success by the intangible, therefore i have nothing to show for myself. yet unavoidably surrounded by superficial people and superficial values, sometimes i get bogged down by such negative vibes and assess myself with guidelines different from what i hold true and important. i cant help it because i want to please everyone, and i want everyone to accept me for who i am and call me "friend." what am i though? what do i have to offer? what do i have to show? i have no financial security, and yet i always manage well with little to no complaints. sure i'd love to have more money, but i dont really need it. emotionally, i am comfortable with who i have become. but does that define me as stable. well life delivers it ups and downs and i roll with the punches to the best of my abilities and some days do get me down, but it's never the end; i always come back for more. i come for more challenges and obstacles to overcome, not for more abuse, hypocrisy, ignorance, arrogance, greed, ego, and all other negativity that people can dish out on others. i am through with that. i will not waste my time and accept such treatment. i don't need anyone's approval. i just want acceptance. i want to be respected, not tolerated. it seems like an easy wish and yet so difficult to fulfill. the harshness of life persistently tests the endurance of humanity. it is up to us to remember kindness in our hearts, to be good to others, and show compassion where it is due. when we pay attention to our intuition, we learn more and regret less. we can grow and feel better about the world we live in for bringing a change for the better to our lives and improving the world around us by touching the lives of those who are close to us in some way, no matter how small. sure i don't have a lot to "show," but i have a lot to give of myself, and i like that. this is who i am, take it or leave it.