back-words... dealing with death...

*** this was posted to stumbleupon, hence "stumbling." my grandfather has been in and out of the hospital a couple more times since then with the same problems. the help isn't helpful and i think they will be replaced, or at least they should have been when things started to disappear from my grandparent's apartment at the facility. my grandmother's funeral was july 25th, 3 days before my uncle's birthday and less than a month before my mother's birthday. her passing was less than a month after my grandfather's and cousin's birthdays. everything has moved on to some extent since then and yet it also hasn't. most of the family has been permanently affected in some way to this loss. i, for one, never got to prove to her that i am not a failure, as she once deemed me to be. i hope i show some sign of change to my grandfather before he passes. mostly it doesn't matter to me anymore. i finally made peace with those sorts of issues long ago...

June 23, 2008
dealing with death...
i just figured maybe i should drop a blog since i havent really been stumbling for a while... my grandmother's health has been getting worse over the last few months and she finally passed away tuesday, june 3, 2008 at 7:00 pm, est. her services will be in late july. since then my grandfather's health has significantly deteriorated. it seems maybe he has given up on life. he is in the hospital with pneumonia- a kind that can be fatal to people either in his age range or with his kind of medical condition. as he has both counting against him, this is a very serious situation. he has also recently lost control of his mental faculties and in their place, is dementia, hallucinations, and memory issues which all seemingly transpired over night. its possible that it will clear up when the pneumonia is gone, but there are no guarantees. he also has a wound on his ankle which hasnt healed for over a year even with skin grafts and now the doctors are discussing amputation. the remainder of my family is at odds with each other. i feel alone more than ever and have postponed most things until life gets better, which includes stumbling. i hope to be back soon...