*** amazingly, this tactic works well for some and not for others. it didn't work out very well for me. i tried this tactic a few times before resorting to sharing free mixes online exclusively.
Friday, September 15, 2005
new mixes!
available for your listening pleasure!
i have made 3 mixes, each is well over 2 hours.
ambient
hard trance
acid
the first 20 to contact me get a free copy!
hurry now and dont delay a second further! :)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
back-words... i've got a beef...
Thursday, September 15, 2005
i've got a beef...
i've been keeping quiet about this for a while but every once in a while this creeps up and really annoys me to no end...
it pisses me off when people cannot classify what category of music they fall into, what genres and subgenres they identify with, and what they do not like...
the biggest offender out there right now is people who claim to be experimental. uhm, sorry, no, you are not. seriously, please discuss this with someone who knows before you make such a claim. experimental is a subgenre of electronic dance music (edm). it has qualities of intelligent (idm), but is frequently more noise laden and avant-garde.
a group playing hardcore rock is not experimental. thrashing your metal and growling indistinguishable vocals into your mic is not experimental. there are already categories for that, such as hardcore, metal core, punk core, noise core -- not experimental, ya dig?
my other problem is with people who say oh i listen just about everything or pretty much anything, except techno. ok, are you talking about techno as a subgenre of edm that is simplified and loaded with blips, tweaks, and samples (oh my!) or are you referring to all of edm as techno?
i can respect someone who doesnt like techno. it requires a specific taste, usually by those who have been into the scene since the early 90's or even earlier. but if you shun all electronic dance music and then go tell me that you love hip hop or rock, then you need to check yourself!
hip hop artists use turntables, too. they use many of the same beats and samples used by edm artists. missy elliott and will smith, for example. what do you think theyre doing? they are mixing sounds and beat matching. they are using samples from other songs. they are often sounding very much like techno. and what about all those groups out there that want a turntablist as a band member? sugar ray and smashmouth, to name a couple. hello, the guy is running a beat and keeps scratching in the songs.
which leads me to turntablism. this is well known in the edm culture, but you know what? it is very hip hop! these artists arent known for their mc'ing, but rather for their skills on the turntables. and their sound is hip hop. these artists would include q-bert, kid koala, and scribblz to name a few.
before you go telling me with all certainty what you are and what you like and what you dont like, give it some more thought!
dont make me he-bitch man-slap you! :)
i've got a beef...
i've been keeping quiet about this for a while but every once in a while this creeps up and really annoys me to no end...
it pisses me off when people cannot classify what category of music they fall into, what genres and subgenres they identify with, and what they do not like...
the biggest offender out there right now is people who claim to be experimental. uhm, sorry, no, you are not. seriously, please discuss this with someone who knows before you make such a claim. experimental is a subgenre of electronic dance music (edm). it has qualities of intelligent (idm), but is frequently more noise laden and avant-garde.
a group playing hardcore rock is not experimental. thrashing your metal and growling indistinguishable vocals into your mic is not experimental. there are already categories for that, such as hardcore, metal core, punk core, noise core -- not experimental, ya dig?
my other problem is with people who say oh i listen just about everything or pretty much anything, except techno. ok, are you talking about techno as a subgenre of edm that is simplified and loaded with blips, tweaks, and samples (oh my!) or are you referring to all of edm as techno?
i can respect someone who doesnt like techno. it requires a specific taste, usually by those who have been into the scene since the early 90's or even earlier. but if you shun all electronic dance music and then go tell me that you love hip hop or rock, then you need to check yourself!
hip hop artists use turntables, too. they use many of the same beats and samples used by edm artists. missy elliott and will smith, for example. what do you think theyre doing? they are mixing sounds and beat matching. they are using samples from other songs. they are often sounding very much like techno. and what about all those groups out there that want a turntablist as a band member? sugar ray and smashmouth, to name a couple. hello, the guy is running a beat and keeps scratching in the songs.
which leads me to turntablism. this is well known in the edm culture, but you know what? it is very hip hop! these artists arent known for their mc'ing, but rather for their skills on the turntables. and their sound is hip hop. these artists would include q-bert, kid koala, and scribblz to name a few.
before you go telling me with all certainty what you are and what you like and what you dont like, give it some more thought!
dont make me he-bitch man-slap you! :)
back-words... new site under way...
*** this link is no longer good. after considering my needs versus space allotment, i realized comcast would not be a viable source for a home page. as a result, i closed the page because i knew i could do what i needed with it and i saw no point in continuing further with it. however, this was a noteworthy post as it was the first time i was concretely employing design and concept that i had stowed on the back burner since my college days. this was not my last effort...
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
new site under way...
i started a web page using the 25mb space allowed by my isp. it's my attempt to try to wrap up my two myspace accounts into one and introduce the facet of discussing specific musical, artistic, and cultural areas of interest. i just started it today so it is very rough right now. i would appreciate everyone going to take a look, and offering feedback and/or contributions. thank you for your time
http://home.comcast.net/~djsquelch/index.html
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
new site under way...
i started a web page using the 25mb space allowed by my isp. it's my attempt to try to wrap up my two myspace accounts into one and introduce the facet of discussing specific musical, artistic, and cultural areas of interest. i just started it today so it is very rough right now. i would appreciate everyone going to take a look, and offering feedback and/or contributions. thank you for your time
http://home.comcast.net/~djsquelch/index.html
back-words... more about me personally...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
more about me personally...
i would like to remind people i have a personal page. i would suggest that you are on my friend list on both pages since each page suites a different purpose and different posts and blogs go to each page.
http://www.myspace.com/djsquelch2
this page doesnt show much about me and and for some reason thats the way the musician pages are set up. if i had a choice i would simply post my music on my main page. dontcha just love myspace and its little idiosyncrasies?
more about me personally...
i would like to remind people i have a personal page. i would suggest that you are on my friend list on both pages since each page suites a different purpose and different posts and blogs go to each page.
http://www.myspace.com/djsquelch2
this page doesnt show much about me and and for some reason thats the way the musician pages are set up. if i had a choice i would simply post my music on my main page. dontcha just love myspace and its little idiosyncrasies?
back-words... tunes to the ears...
Sunday, September 4, 2005
tunes to the ears...
while myspace is excellent to give the ppl a taste of whats going on, i find myself with the obstacle that i still cannot post a longer tune for appreciation/feedback. also sometimes i would like to go nuts and post a mix.
ok, obviously not here, so where can i do this???
is there a place where this can be done for free or does every place charge for this service? i dont even know where to begin looking to research this for myself. i didnt necessarily want to build a website, but i am open to that idea as well...
i would appreciate any feedback and/or suggestions that ANYONE may have. thank you!
tunes to the ears...
while myspace is excellent to give the ppl a taste of whats going on, i find myself with the obstacle that i still cannot post a longer tune for appreciation/feedback. also sometimes i would like to go nuts and post a mix.
ok, obviously not here, so where can i do this???
is there a place where this can be done for free or does every place charge for this service? i dont even know where to begin looking to research this for myself. i didnt necessarily want to build a website, but i am open to that idea as well...
i would appreciate any feedback and/or suggestions that ANYONE may have. thank you!
back-words... moving...
Thursday, June 30, 2005
moving...
moving is a bitch, no matter how near or far. you have to pack your shit up and cart it off and decide how to effectively set it up in your new space.
i developed a plan last year for spinning online and i finally acquired everything i need and here i am moving. blah, i tell you...
i finally realized the other day i virtually collected all sounds i ever wanted to hear, all software i ever wanted to make use of and im doing what? thats right, im moving.
the movers are scheduled for july 23 and i will be outta here by the 31st. and then comes the unpacking process. some say what a bitch, some say oh its like xmas all over again... i would say both, except that xmas part came when i discovered i had all this shit to pack in the first place! :)
so now i will have a bigger spot so i can spread it around, yay. actually thats a good thing cuz i was gettin a little tired of felling like a mad scientist with all my equipment stacked vertically chest high and my room looking like a labyrinth...
the only thing i have to contend with is being closer to the city, which isnt too bad. i just hate the traffic. i could even happily deal everywhere i need to go no longer being close by if it werent for the traffic. oh well, i guess it will encourage me to learn how to deal with city traffic better. country and highway driving will never cease to be my favorite. i love being out in the open- easier if you fly off the road, too, but thats another story. too bad im still having flashbacks from that shit. maybe i can channel into that energy and produce some wicked sounds as a little pop therapy so to speak...
ah moving... cant live without it, pass the peanuts.
moving...
moving is a bitch, no matter how near or far. you have to pack your shit up and cart it off and decide how to effectively set it up in your new space.
i developed a plan last year for spinning online and i finally acquired everything i need and here i am moving. blah, i tell you...
i finally realized the other day i virtually collected all sounds i ever wanted to hear, all software i ever wanted to make use of and im doing what? thats right, im moving.
the movers are scheduled for july 23 and i will be outta here by the 31st. and then comes the unpacking process. some say what a bitch, some say oh its like xmas all over again... i would say both, except that xmas part came when i discovered i had all this shit to pack in the first place! :)
so now i will have a bigger spot so i can spread it around, yay. actually thats a good thing cuz i was gettin a little tired of felling like a mad scientist with all my equipment stacked vertically chest high and my room looking like a labyrinth...
the only thing i have to contend with is being closer to the city, which isnt too bad. i just hate the traffic. i could even happily deal everywhere i need to go no longer being close by if it werent for the traffic. oh well, i guess it will encourage me to learn how to deal with city traffic better. country and highway driving will never cease to be my favorite. i love being out in the open- easier if you fly off the road, too, but thats another story. too bad im still having flashbacks from that shit. maybe i can channel into that energy and produce some wicked sounds as a little pop therapy so to speak...
ah moving... cant live without it, pass the peanuts.
back-words... a new beginning...
as promised, i will be transferring all posts from my other blogs to this one so that it may act as a central repository. in cases where information and/or links are no longer valid, i will indicate as such before pasting the blogs here. as i've mentioned before and i'll continue to remind per each pertinent blog, a lot of my music-related blogs feature dead links and information which may be currently irrelevant. in such cases, my reminder will specify what is valid, what is not, and supply any new information that might be of use. i figure i will be posting even the simplest of blogs primarily out of posterity, but also as a little insight as to who i am, what i think about, and how i choose to express those thoughts. i can't think of much else to say so without further ado, i will begin posting old blogs over here until i have noted the process complete.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
a new beginning...
hi, welcome to my musician page. it's still under construction because myspace is on the fritz.
to learn more about me and who i am, check out my personal account: http://www.myspace.com/djsquelch2 :) feel free to add me as a friend on both accounts.
i intend to use this account as a means for sharing some of my music and an outlet for expressing my creative flow thoughts, ideas, inspiration, and what ever else that occurs to me that affects any artistic output.
i hope you enjoy my contributions. thank you! :)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
a new beginning...
hi, welcome to my musician page. it's still under construction because myspace is on the fritz.
to learn more about me and who i am, check out my personal account: http://www.myspace.com/djsquelch2 :) feel free to add me as a friend on both accounts.
i intend to use this account as a means for sharing some of my music and an outlet for expressing my creative flow thoughts, ideas, inspiration, and what ever else that occurs to me that affects any artistic output.
i hope you enjoy my contributions. thank you! :)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
yet another year has come to pass...
...and a new one is just taking shape.
not only is it a new year, but it's also the dawn of a new presidential term. we will see how that works out. personally, i'm not holding my breath; no individual alone can save a nation and i think the country maintains a focal point on the presidential position that is perhaps overwhelmingly unfair. i am not in favor of the current man holding this position, but i also don't think he should be scapegoated in the face of overwhelming failure. after all, many factors are involved in civic actions.
aside from the political rigmarole, i'm already seeing changes taking place in my life this year and i hope the momentum continues. i've been studying japanese on my own for a good part of last year and i already am coming to understand words, phrases, and characters. i listen to japanese as much as possible hoping to train my ear to the language. it's a difficult language, but i really would like to be fluent. maybe some dreams can be reached...
my financial situation is starting to look up and if i keep handling things well, then life's unattainable necessities will soon no longer feel like such a burden. this year should bring the onset of financial stability, which is something i have been hoping for all along. all i have to do is play my cards right and mainly be patient. the downside is i didn't want to achieve this as a result of a family member preparing to pass away. because of that, i will be sure to make the best use of these finances since it is thanks to my grandfather that i have them.
speaking of my grandfather, i mentioned we nearly lost him two weeks after my grandmother's passing last year. something similar happened again in december and i am aware his health is such that he may not see this year through, so i have been going to see him during each holiday since thanksgiving in hopes that he will realize he is not alone or forgotten. i wish the rest of my family would do the same, but it hasn't been on everyone's agenda, much to my dismay. i think my family was fortunate to be there when my grandmother passed. I don't think they will have the same fortune when it is my grandfather's turn. hence, i am concerned that he should be reminded how we feel so he has no doubts.
this month i scratched my other cornea and recuperation has been excruciating, yet nowhere near as bad as the first time with the other eye. i think this cements the idea that i won't be making a living as a fine detail artist as once planned. however, i feel that shouldn't probibit me from working on music, teaching, writing or whatever else i wish to set my mind toward doing. even if my eyes get worse and they still aren't surgically correctable, i still want to forge a way for myself following a passion rather than presuming im useless and only good for something such as basket weaving. the other day i heard that man can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated and i am inclined to agree with that. no matter what obstacles cross my path or change the course of my future, i want to find a way to always persist regardless of the odds.
while i'm thinking about it, i want to convert this blog into a central repository via transferring my other blog entries to this blog. i won't be deleting the other blogs, but i think it would be nice if everything could be read from on place rather than navigating to multiple locations. in that way, this blog will truly feature all facets of my life- or at least as much as i choose to post. i may make an effort to retain original post dates to those blogs so as not to create any confusion with what is currently transpiring in my life. i hope you will enjoy those entries as i bring them over bit by bit (it's quite a lot actually).
not only is it a new year, but it's also the dawn of a new presidential term. we will see how that works out. personally, i'm not holding my breath; no individual alone can save a nation and i think the country maintains a focal point on the presidential position that is perhaps overwhelmingly unfair. i am not in favor of the current man holding this position, but i also don't think he should be scapegoated in the face of overwhelming failure. after all, many factors are involved in civic actions.
aside from the political rigmarole, i'm already seeing changes taking place in my life this year and i hope the momentum continues. i've been studying japanese on my own for a good part of last year and i already am coming to understand words, phrases, and characters. i listen to japanese as much as possible hoping to train my ear to the language. it's a difficult language, but i really would like to be fluent. maybe some dreams can be reached...
my financial situation is starting to look up and if i keep handling things well, then life's unattainable necessities will soon no longer feel like such a burden. this year should bring the onset of financial stability, which is something i have been hoping for all along. all i have to do is play my cards right and mainly be patient. the downside is i didn't want to achieve this as a result of a family member preparing to pass away. because of that, i will be sure to make the best use of these finances since it is thanks to my grandfather that i have them.
speaking of my grandfather, i mentioned we nearly lost him two weeks after my grandmother's passing last year. something similar happened again in december and i am aware his health is such that he may not see this year through, so i have been going to see him during each holiday since thanksgiving in hopes that he will realize he is not alone or forgotten. i wish the rest of my family would do the same, but it hasn't been on everyone's agenda, much to my dismay. i think my family was fortunate to be there when my grandmother passed. I don't think they will have the same fortune when it is my grandfather's turn. hence, i am concerned that he should be reminded how we feel so he has no doubts.
this month i scratched my other cornea and recuperation has been excruciating, yet nowhere near as bad as the first time with the other eye. i think this cements the idea that i won't be making a living as a fine detail artist as once planned. however, i feel that shouldn't probibit me from working on music, teaching, writing or whatever else i wish to set my mind toward doing. even if my eyes get worse and they still aren't surgically correctable, i still want to forge a way for myself following a passion rather than presuming im useless and only good for something such as basket weaving. the other day i heard that man can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated and i am inclined to agree with that. no matter what obstacles cross my path or change the course of my future, i want to find a way to always persist regardless of the odds.
while i'm thinking about it, i want to convert this blog into a central repository via transferring my other blog entries to this blog. i won't be deleting the other blogs, but i think it would be nice if everything could be read from on place rather than navigating to multiple locations. in that way, this blog will truly feature all facets of my life- or at least as much as i choose to post. i may make an effort to retain original post dates to those blogs so as not to create any confusion with what is currently transpiring in my life. i hope you will enjoy those entries as i bring them over bit by bit (it's quite a lot actually).
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
an overdue update...
this is one of the few blogs where i haven't posted anything in a long time, so i figured i was long overdue for providing an update in regards to things that have been transpiring in my life since my last post.
this year has seen many things: another birthday, identity theft, a self-run business slowly rise and quickly fall, admin-level status at a web site, the loss of a family member, communication briefly re-established with other family members, and contemplation of career change accompanied with going back to school again. all this is on top of the daily and other incidental stuff with which i already deal. without a doubt, it's been quite the emotional roller-coaster ride, especially when i take into consideration my past and my future.
my birthday serves as a yearly milestone where i assess how far i've come, what i've accomplished, what i'm currently doing, and what my plans are. it's not so much of a comparison with other people as much as it is a comparison with what i feel i could be doing based on a potential happy medium that i generally try to strive for- nothing too great nor too poor.
as many of you know, last year saw considerable marks in success. i released 10 albums (with a cumulative 15,000+ download result) including a collaborative album which i later remastered as a solo work which i released this year. indeed i have plans for future works, both specifically and generally speaking. after pulling off to work independently, i was accepted to sell my work with apple itunes along with several other companies online. before i was able to send my work to each of these companies, my external hard drive died, which i have described in great detail in a previous post. this put my life at an abrupt standstill. i had no backup plan. if anything, returning to music was my backup plan. due to various medical situations, i've become limited in what i can do so working at home on music seemed like my best option considering my abilities and resources. even though it seems life has other intentions for me, i will not be giving up on this dream and it is my intention to slowly rebuild my way back to where i was before and surpass that milestone.
in the meantime, i'm still limited as to what i can and can't do. time has been slowly healing physical and emotional wounds. i have had time to reconsider life, options, and so forth. an option i've been giving strong consideration to is teaching english as a second and/or foreign language, specifically in japan. why japan? because before i was a live my family had been there while my grandfather was still in the navy and i have grown up seeing all sorts of things attesting to their love of being there and i have been captivated by these relics and on my own eperiences found myself gravitating to all things japanese over the course of my life, so it only seemed natural that my first thoughts were of japan. asia, in general, is seeking native-speaking english teachers for all levels of education and they are paying very well and if you get a private job, then the pay is pretty phenomenal. I could really use something that would provide a decent, reliable income. that is something i have never had- its always been decent or reliable, but never both.
so here i am trying my best to become fluent in japanese so that i can go out there and get a job teaching english, but wait- don't i need some sort of experience and educational background in that field before landing such a job? yes, indeed i do. this means completing my existing education so i don't lose all the work i've already done over the course of about 7 years in four colleges. then i need to get an additional degree and perhaps certification as well as work experience before i can even go over there and work. additionally, i will have to perform a massive overseas move as well as getting a home, which will be monumental tasks in of themselves. i've already done all the research into that as well, but i've determined this is something that i want to do and even if it takes me around 7 years to accomplish, i will get it done.
sounds great, but what about the music? that will be sitting on the back burner as little as possible while i am trying to get all these other things accomplished. another goal of the teaching would be to better afford my ability to work on music and probably the repair (if possible) of my external hard drive. if i can get that repaired, then i can get back on track where i was with music sales and continuing further album work, broadcasting, and more. everything i had previously entertained doing in the line of music i still would like to do and i think i can be successful doing that anywhere in the world.
ok, so you mentioned a ot of other stuff happening thats been messing with your abilities... yes, my grandmother passed away this year. her health has been deteriorating for several years now and this year seemed to bring some considerable problems- a broken leg, a heart attack, and then spending her final days in a hospital where she would eventually die. the last medicine the doctors gave her lead to her death. they knew it might do it and my family was informed and for some reason everyone thought it was ok to do. well, she went into a coma, stopped breathing on her own, and after two weeks they finally unplugged her life support and she died a painful, scary death. she was also buried this summer and that was also an ordeal in of itself. i saw relatives i had stopped talking to for quite some time. i saw my grandparents' latest poor choice in assistants there as well. it was not a good day. i chose to bring the dog because he is family and he has emotional problems with being left alone for various reasons. because i had him with me, i was not allowed to go inside for the memorial service which was performed by my great uncle, her brother, how ever i was allowed to attend the burial service as that was outdoors. i miss the person she sometimes was, but not the person she became. her death cemented that things would never be good between us again, much as i had already suspected. in a way i had already said my goodbyes long ago, so the day felt very awkward for me. i think everyone had slightly different feelings on that day and continue to have slightly different feelings. everyone is slightly different now and yet they're still quite the same. things have quieted up between me and my relative once again. everyone is doing what they had been before, the only difference being that my grandmother is no longer part of the picture. it's been hard dealing with things in a way i can't quite describe. i intentionally abandoned certain activities i knew i wouldn't be able to perfom during that time and i have resumed most of those activities, such as career and educational research, learning japanese, and a couple of recreational things online, but not everything is back to normal.
i was an active trivia official on a website dedicated to my birth year where i posted on a weekly basis, but now i merely hold the title as i havent done anything there for months except excuse myself from activity due to family matters. i have resumed recreationally surfing the web and talking to friends online, but i still find myself testier about many things that i used to be more patient about and i've noticed with every major life-affecting event, that i get more and more like this and i don't really care for it. it's something that i try to keep in check, but i can't quite control it 100% of the time, either.
my grandmother's passing hasn't brought much change. my grandfather has seemed to grow more bitter of her, and he continues to tire of life. many of her things have vanished and it seems the help was involved, but he rehired them instead of hiring new help. this places quite a bit of unnecessary tension around the place because my mother will not go while any of them are there and if they are, she insists they leave. my uncle lives out of state so he isn't much help in many matters unless my mother pesters him to do something by phone or during one of his rare visits.
it's hard to keep focused when you have so much swimming around in your head, even more so when you're predisposed to having problems with maintaining focus. things have been breaking down right and left this year as well. my tv died so i have to use a small old one which means i can't really read anything on it or appreciate any rental in any great detail. i can't really affor a replacement at for the time being, either. my home has flooded some more this year and it got pretty bad. i am still fighting mildew problems and telecommunications problems as a result. i've been repairing computers in hopes i can get them all completely functional so that mine will work as they used to (if not better) and i can sell some others online so that i can get a little money. finding ways to make money has been a pain because it almost always costs money to make money. i was hoping to find ways to get ahead and it seems like i am barely staying afloat, all the while i am still receiving minimal financial assistance from my mother when she is able to afford it. i am lucky as most mothers wouldn't do this. i am trying to make the best use of her financial assistance, which does not always come as the easiest of choices. there are so many distractions and oh so many things to do, and there is always more to do than before. all i can do is keep trying and keep planning and someday i might manage to make things work ok...
this year has seen many things: another birthday, identity theft, a self-run business slowly rise and quickly fall, admin-level status at a web site, the loss of a family member, communication briefly re-established with other family members, and contemplation of career change accompanied with going back to school again. all this is on top of the daily and other incidental stuff with which i already deal. without a doubt, it's been quite the emotional roller-coaster ride, especially when i take into consideration my past and my future.
my birthday serves as a yearly milestone where i assess how far i've come, what i've accomplished, what i'm currently doing, and what my plans are. it's not so much of a comparison with other people as much as it is a comparison with what i feel i could be doing based on a potential happy medium that i generally try to strive for- nothing too great nor too poor.
as many of you know, last year saw considerable marks in success. i released 10 albums (with a cumulative 15,000+ download result) including a collaborative album which i later remastered as a solo work which i released this year. indeed i have plans for future works, both specifically and generally speaking. after pulling off to work independently, i was accepted to sell my work with apple itunes along with several other companies online. before i was able to send my work to each of these companies, my external hard drive died, which i have described in great detail in a previous post. this put my life at an abrupt standstill. i had no backup plan. if anything, returning to music was my backup plan. due to various medical situations, i've become limited in what i can do so working at home on music seemed like my best option considering my abilities and resources. even though it seems life has other intentions for me, i will not be giving up on this dream and it is my intention to slowly rebuild my way back to where i was before and surpass that milestone.
in the meantime, i'm still limited as to what i can and can't do. time has been slowly healing physical and emotional wounds. i have had time to reconsider life, options, and so forth. an option i've been giving strong consideration to is teaching english as a second and/or foreign language, specifically in japan. why japan? because before i was a live my family had been there while my grandfather was still in the navy and i have grown up seeing all sorts of things attesting to their love of being there and i have been captivated by these relics and on my own eperiences found myself gravitating to all things japanese over the course of my life, so it only seemed natural that my first thoughts were of japan. asia, in general, is seeking native-speaking english teachers for all levels of education and they are paying very well and if you get a private job, then the pay is pretty phenomenal. I could really use something that would provide a decent, reliable income. that is something i have never had- its always been decent or reliable, but never both.
so here i am trying my best to become fluent in japanese so that i can go out there and get a job teaching english, but wait- don't i need some sort of experience and educational background in that field before landing such a job? yes, indeed i do. this means completing my existing education so i don't lose all the work i've already done over the course of about 7 years in four colleges. then i need to get an additional degree and perhaps certification as well as work experience before i can even go over there and work. additionally, i will have to perform a massive overseas move as well as getting a home, which will be monumental tasks in of themselves. i've already done all the research into that as well, but i've determined this is something that i want to do and even if it takes me around 7 years to accomplish, i will get it done.
sounds great, but what about the music? that will be sitting on the back burner as little as possible while i am trying to get all these other things accomplished. another goal of the teaching would be to better afford my ability to work on music and probably the repair (if possible) of my external hard drive. if i can get that repaired, then i can get back on track where i was with music sales and continuing further album work, broadcasting, and more. everything i had previously entertained doing in the line of music i still would like to do and i think i can be successful doing that anywhere in the world.
ok, so you mentioned a ot of other stuff happening thats been messing with your abilities... yes, my grandmother passed away this year. her health has been deteriorating for several years now and this year seemed to bring some considerable problems- a broken leg, a heart attack, and then spending her final days in a hospital where she would eventually die. the last medicine the doctors gave her lead to her death. they knew it might do it and my family was informed and for some reason everyone thought it was ok to do. well, she went into a coma, stopped breathing on her own, and after two weeks they finally unplugged her life support and she died a painful, scary death. she was also buried this summer and that was also an ordeal in of itself. i saw relatives i had stopped talking to for quite some time. i saw my grandparents' latest poor choice in assistants there as well. it was not a good day. i chose to bring the dog because he is family and he has emotional problems with being left alone for various reasons. because i had him with me, i was not allowed to go inside for the memorial service which was performed by my great uncle, her brother, how ever i was allowed to attend the burial service as that was outdoors. i miss the person she sometimes was, but not the person she became. her death cemented that things would never be good between us again, much as i had already suspected. in a way i had already said my goodbyes long ago, so the day felt very awkward for me. i think everyone had slightly different feelings on that day and continue to have slightly different feelings. everyone is slightly different now and yet they're still quite the same. things have quieted up between me and my relative once again. everyone is doing what they had been before, the only difference being that my grandmother is no longer part of the picture. it's been hard dealing with things in a way i can't quite describe. i intentionally abandoned certain activities i knew i wouldn't be able to perfom during that time and i have resumed most of those activities, such as career and educational research, learning japanese, and a couple of recreational things online, but not everything is back to normal.
i was an active trivia official on a website dedicated to my birth year where i posted on a weekly basis, but now i merely hold the title as i havent done anything there for months except excuse myself from activity due to family matters. i have resumed recreationally surfing the web and talking to friends online, but i still find myself testier about many things that i used to be more patient about and i've noticed with every major life-affecting event, that i get more and more like this and i don't really care for it. it's something that i try to keep in check, but i can't quite control it 100% of the time, either.
my grandmother's passing hasn't brought much change. my grandfather has seemed to grow more bitter of her, and he continues to tire of life. many of her things have vanished and it seems the help was involved, but he rehired them instead of hiring new help. this places quite a bit of unnecessary tension around the place because my mother will not go while any of them are there and if they are, she insists they leave. my uncle lives out of state so he isn't much help in many matters unless my mother pesters him to do something by phone or during one of his rare visits.
it's hard to keep focused when you have so much swimming around in your head, even more so when you're predisposed to having problems with maintaining focus. things have been breaking down right and left this year as well. my tv died so i have to use a small old one which means i can't really read anything on it or appreciate any rental in any great detail. i can't really affor a replacement at for the time being, either. my home has flooded some more this year and it got pretty bad. i am still fighting mildew problems and telecommunications problems as a result. i've been repairing computers in hopes i can get them all completely functional so that mine will work as they used to (if not better) and i can sell some others online so that i can get a little money. finding ways to make money has been a pain because it almost always costs money to make money. i was hoping to find ways to get ahead and it seems like i am barely staying afloat, all the while i am still receiving minimal financial assistance from my mother when she is able to afford it. i am lucky as most mothers wouldn't do this. i am trying to make the best use of her financial assistance, which does not always come as the easiest of choices. there are so many distractions and oh so many things to do, and there is always more to do than before. all i can do is keep trying and keep planning and someday i might manage to make things work ok...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
life derailed & blueprinting a backup plan...
I have been putting off any posts til I had something more concrete to post, but there is only one thing I can offer in case anyone has been wondering: my external hard drive has died.
Because of this hardware failure, I have been unable to mix, produce, or host weekly broadcasts as I normally would. Because my external hard drive is 2tb (read 2000gb), the cheapest repair quote I can possibly get is $6,000.00. I will also have to replace the unit that died and buy and additional back up unit so this doesn't happen again.
Needless to say, I don't have this kind of money to spend all at once. It will take me time to save up for this repair. If I am lucky, maybe I can afford the repair in a year, but I anticipate it taking about ten years instead.
Either way, it will be quite some time before release any new work or mixes. I am currently working on a way to get broadcasts done using different equipment and a different medium.
If anyone knows of a cheaper way to get my repair done, I would appreciate some feedback. If anyone would like to help out financially I could set up a donations link via Paypal, however I would rather be hired to spin or have my albums be bought online.
I would be thrilled to get my life back on track again. I'm sorry this has happened. Thank you for your support.
plur...
*********************************
That was a post I made early in April, over a month after my drive had failed. By that point, I already felt obliged to say something in regards as to why I had ceased to broadcast on a weekly basis, why I was not creating new mixes and remixes, why I was not releasing new albums, and why my work had not been distributed to more online stores for sale as I had promised. I didn't have a lot of information to offer as most of the people I had been in contact with had given me very little information to go on. I like to know as much as I can and compare services before I settle on one. After all, $6000 is a lot of money to cough up and I am not about to give it to the first person I find. I need to know if I can find cheaper, the processes involved, if it's possible for me to cut costs based on options and preferences... I want to feel comfortable and confident knowing the services to be performed will be successfully done by a reliable source.
Because of the paths my life has taken, I do not have $6000 to surrender in one fell swoop. In order to pay such a price all at once, I will need to make and save that money. Unfortunately, the drive died before I could get my music distributed to more online sources. I have only a couple places selling my work now, but they are in obscure locations which do not receive as much internet traffic as where they were going to be located. Most of the work available for sale was available for free for nearly a year so it has not been selling since its availability status changed. I trust at some point the music will start selling. When it was free, it had been down loaded over 15,000 times in less than a year. So I trust it will sell again upon finding a larger audience.
Not only do I not have $6000 to afford to repair my hard drive, my original intent was to make money from my music to afford car repairs so I could have transportation for a job. Most jobs require many things, such as a degree, experience, and reliable transportation. Having tried to work without reliable transportation previously, I know it isn't a viable option when public transportation causes frequent lateness thus threatening job security. I also lack a degree despite my years of college training. Additionally, my work history is patchy, having had to take time off to help my handicapped grandparents and even live with them for a few years. My options are reduced to nothing more than minimum wage jobs or possibly an entry level company position- still requiring reliable transportation at the very least. So i can't get a job without transportation and I can't afford to repair my transportation without a job! Vicious, isn't it? So that brought me to mixing making music and selling it. I figured I would work at home on something I love which I am also capable of doing and make at least enough to afford repairs. I also had dreams of taking my goals to higher levels. I had not planned on hard drive failure thwarting my momentum. I had no backup plan to fall back on.
So suddenly I find myself in the ugly position of wondering what I am going to do. I figure music sales and dj gigs might allow my to make enough money to afford various repairs, but it will take anywhere up to ten years or longer, depending on the strength of the income. I'm not sure I can happily sit around and wait for that kind of money to roll in bit by bit. I like to be productive. I like to feel useful. I tend to measure and assess my progress regularly, so I'm fairly confident I wouldn't like to sit around and wait to have enough money. So what can I do to expedite things?
I have looked into this before; in fact, every time I consider a new job I go through the same train of thought. Most work at home options do not appeal to me. Either I have to put some money into a kit or a phony certification process which turns out to be a scam or the work is for data entry/processing or for collections services. Years ago I was on the other end of the collections services and I can tell you I hate being felt like despicable prey. I would never do that to another person. One might say I should take any job to make money just because it pays. I have never been able to accomplish anything I couldn't put my heart into. I have done data entry/processing and I won't do it again. I have a lousy attention span and when it comes to things I have no interest in, I might as well not be doing it. I also have other limitations. I had back surgery twice. My physical endurance and general comfort level just aren't very good anymore. I find it difficult to sit, stand, lift, kneel and more. I also have developed a sensitivity to light after a scratched cornea; I can assure you migraines don't go as easily as your average headache.
So what the hell can I do??? Well, endurance can be built, but sometimes it takes years to do. It has been three years since my last back surgery. I can do more things now, but I still spend the majority of my time in my bed. I has also been about as long since I scratched my cornea. some days are worse than others, but I can usually manage to be outside in bright sunlight for about an hour before my eyes are exhausted and I start to feel a migraine coming on, both of which are painful experiences. I can withstand normal indoor lighting for even longer, but it's something I generally try to avoid; I even keep my bedroom dimly lit. I figure at the very least I can try to complete a degree or two online while I am still stuck at home. Perhaps I can get into another field that interests me which would afford my repairs. Perhaps there is other work at home, or maybe temporary work (perhaps even abroad) that I can do which will allow me to afford repairs or even more. I have always felt challenged for extra money in the past. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make to make my life even better. To be honest, I have recently been looking into teaching again. The idea of teaching English as a second/foreign language appeals to me. The idea of living abroad also has some appeal and maybe one I might make it a permanent situation, but right now it's merely a consideration as I review my possibilities for completing a degree at home.
I hope this offers some clarity as to whats going on with things in my life right now. When I have more concrete information to offer I will keep you posted. Thank you for your support.
plur...
Because of this hardware failure, I have been unable to mix, produce, or host weekly broadcasts as I normally would. Because my external hard drive is 2tb (read 2000gb), the cheapest repair quote I can possibly get is $6,000.00. I will also have to replace the unit that died and buy and additional back up unit so this doesn't happen again.
Needless to say, I don't have this kind of money to spend all at once. It will take me time to save up for this repair. If I am lucky, maybe I can afford the repair in a year, but I anticipate it taking about ten years instead.
Either way, it will be quite some time before release any new work or mixes. I am currently working on a way to get broadcasts done using different equipment and a different medium.
If anyone knows of a cheaper way to get my repair done, I would appreciate some feedback. If anyone would like to help out financially I could set up a donations link via Paypal, however I would rather be hired to spin or have my albums be bought online.
I would be thrilled to get my life back on track again. I'm sorry this has happened. Thank you for your support.
plur...
*********************************
That was a post I made early in April, over a month after my drive had failed. By that point, I already felt obliged to say something in regards as to why I had ceased to broadcast on a weekly basis, why I was not creating new mixes and remixes, why I was not releasing new albums, and why my work had not been distributed to more online stores for sale as I had promised. I didn't have a lot of information to offer as most of the people I had been in contact with had given me very little information to go on. I like to know as much as I can and compare services before I settle on one. After all, $6000 is a lot of money to cough up and I am not about to give it to the first person I find. I need to know if I can find cheaper, the processes involved, if it's possible for me to cut costs based on options and preferences... I want to feel comfortable and confident knowing the services to be performed will be successfully done by a reliable source.
Because of the paths my life has taken, I do not have $6000 to surrender in one fell swoop. In order to pay such a price all at once, I will need to make and save that money. Unfortunately, the drive died before I could get my music distributed to more online sources. I have only a couple places selling my work now, but they are in obscure locations which do not receive as much internet traffic as where they were going to be located. Most of the work available for sale was available for free for nearly a year so it has not been selling since its availability status changed. I trust at some point the music will start selling. When it was free, it had been down loaded over 15,000 times in less than a year. So I trust it will sell again upon finding a larger audience.
Not only do I not have $6000 to afford to repair my hard drive, my original intent was to make money from my music to afford car repairs so I could have transportation for a job. Most jobs require many things, such as a degree, experience, and reliable transportation. Having tried to work without reliable transportation previously, I know it isn't a viable option when public transportation causes frequent lateness thus threatening job security. I also lack a degree despite my years of college training. Additionally, my work history is patchy, having had to take time off to help my handicapped grandparents and even live with them for a few years. My options are reduced to nothing more than minimum wage jobs or possibly an entry level company position- still requiring reliable transportation at the very least. So i can't get a job without transportation and I can't afford to repair my transportation without a job! Vicious, isn't it? So that brought me to mixing making music and selling it. I figured I would work at home on something I love which I am also capable of doing and make at least enough to afford repairs. I also had dreams of taking my goals to higher levels. I had not planned on hard drive failure thwarting my momentum. I had no backup plan to fall back on.
So suddenly I find myself in the ugly position of wondering what I am going to do. I figure music sales and dj gigs might allow my to make enough money to afford various repairs, but it will take anywhere up to ten years or longer, depending on the strength of the income. I'm not sure I can happily sit around and wait for that kind of money to roll in bit by bit. I like to be productive. I like to feel useful. I tend to measure and assess my progress regularly, so I'm fairly confident I wouldn't like to sit around and wait to have enough money. So what can I do to expedite things?
I have looked into this before; in fact, every time I consider a new job I go through the same train of thought. Most work at home options do not appeal to me. Either I have to put some money into a kit or a phony certification process which turns out to be a scam or the work is for data entry/processing or for collections services. Years ago I was on the other end of the collections services and I can tell you I hate being felt like despicable prey. I would never do that to another person. One might say I should take any job to make money just because it pays. I have never been able to accomplish anything I couldn't put my heart into. I have done data entry/processing and I won't do it again. I have a lousy attention span and when it comes to things I have no interest in, I might as well not be doing it. I also have other limitations. I had back surgery twice. My physical endurance and general comfort level just aren't very good anymore. I find it difficult to sit, stand, lift, kneel and more. I also have developed a sensitivity to light after a scratched cornea; I can assure you migraines don't go as easily as your average headache.
So what the hell can I do??? Well, endurance can be built, but sometimes it takes years to do. It has been three years since my last back surgery. I can do more things now, but I still spend the majority of my time in my bed. I has also been about as long since I scratched my cornea. some days are worse than others, but I can usually manage to be outside in bright sunlight for about an hour before my eyes are exhausted and I start to feel a migraine coming on, both of which are painful experiences. I can withstand normal indoor lighting for even longer, but it's something I generally try to avoid; I even keep my bedroom dimly lit. I figure at the very least I can try to complete a degree or two online while I am still stuck at home. Perhaps I can get into another field that interests me which would afford my repairs. Perhaps there is other work at home, or maybe temporary work (perhaps even abroad) that I can do which will allow me to afford repairs or even more. I have always felt challenged for extra money in the past. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make to make my life even better. To be honest, I have recently been looking into teaching again. The idea of teaching English as a second/foreign language appeals to me. The idea of living abroad also has some appeal and maybe one I might make it a permanent situation, but right now it's merely a consideration as I review my possibilities for completing a degree at home.
I hope this offers some clarity as to whats going on with things in my life right now. When I have more concrete information to offer I will keep you posted. Thank you for your support.
plur...
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