...that my grandfather passed away.
i just got back home a couple nights ago and was up 'til all hours. without much surprise i needed a couple days recuperation time on top of getting ill from pushing myself so hard, but i'm getting ahead of myself...
on saturday, august 29th, i went over to see my grandfather for a weekly visit, dinner, and movie (video) as weve been doing for the past several months since my grandmother passed away last year. his health had been deteriorating worse in the last few months with multiple cases of aspiration pneumonia, delirium, and non-coherent speech. in essence we could see he had changed his mind once again and was giving up on life (something he had been deliberating for a while, off and on). unfortunately with his disease (inclusion body myositis), he just couldnt afford to be negative about such things- although he probably had little choice in the matter anyway.
shortly after we arrived, he became clinically unresponsive. he passed away shortly after nine on the following night. we watched him die. hospice was there giving him morphine regularly and everything was done to make hime as physically comfortable as possible and we helplessly sat there and watched him die. it was fairly peaceful for him. it was hard to take and still is from time to time.
we had planned a nice evening and even invited my grandmother's younger brother for a special dinner and a movie. sensing the end coming, we took special consideration to prepare my grandfather's more favorite meals so he could enjoy is last days as best as possible. my mom had even taken to hand-feeding him; he had become so weak. we chose movies that we felt he would enjoy. we ate with him in his bedroom so he could be apart of things virtually from start to finish since he couldn't move anymore. we also tried to get my uncle down more regularly and fortunately he was there when my grandfather passed. things probably couldn't have transpired better than they did in regards to how he passed away and yet my family is heartbroken with sorrow, remorse, and even some regret.
the aftermath was very difficult. we lived in their facility apartment during this past entire month. a lot of things needed to be done and a lawyer did most of it. the rest was left up to us and it was a strain, emotionally and physically. even now there are still a few remaining loose ends, such as canceling various subscriptions and whatnot. we successfully vacated the apartment by the end of the month, but after filling a 10x10 storage unit we still have so much that it was piled on the back porch at home with drop clothes pulled over. so that it can be brought inside in a more accommodating fashion. the lighter side is very little bickering was done over belonings- mostly my mother simply told my uncle he could have whatever he asked for (when he bothered to ask; mostly he just grabbed). since i don't have a home of my own yet i felt i had no place asking for any of the things that i spent more of my life growing around than they had, to which my mother disagreed with that line of thinking saying that i had just as much right if not more so than them as i grew up with all those possessions and dedicated a lot of my life helping them, interrupting things like college, work, and living at home off and on over the years to help both of my grandparents with their various needs. i felt more like a hyena that needs to wait after the lions are through. i didn't want to fight over stuff and i didn't really feel like divvying it up, either.
he was cremated a couple weeks ago as per his wishes. initially he wanted to be buried at sea since he was in the navy, but my grandmother wanted him to be resting with her so that was his concession, however after the way her body was handled/prepared, he decided emphatically that cremation was what he wished for himself. he will be receiving a full military honors service this winter; it was the earliest that could be offered. i feel like a lot of this is far from being over. being the rock of my family has been wearisome so i'm not surprised i became ill as soon as i got home. i hope maybe things can make a turn for the better now, but in all honesty i feel a little sad...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
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3 comments:
Hey did you know you dont have to speak japanese to teach english in Japan?
play with life
Dear Anonymous,
While it is correct that I do not have to speak Japanese to teach English in Japan, it is helpful to be able to read and speak the language if I am to live in Japan, Speak to Japanese people who may not speak English, and so forth. If you go to a country whose native tongue is not English, you might be surprised how little English is available in that country. Try navigating somewhere, ordering food, or shopping alone and see how far you get without being able to speak and read the native language. Even as a tourist, it is highly recommended to familiarize yourself with some basic key phrases, such as "Where is the bathroom?" If you plan to live in a foreign country for any significant length. then it's even more important to know the language unless you plan to stay cooped up in a room all the time and never go anywhere other than where you must go, which still requires some basic language skills. I for one do not have a personal teleporter to beam me from one place to another. Even if I didn't drive, I would still need trains and buses. i would still need food, even if I relied on one of the many vending machines, which still requires some language comprehension. I would need money regularly, which requires a bank or an atm.
Yes, to play with life would be an awesome idea, especially to live so spontaneously without thought or planning. However, I plan to live with some quality regardless of what I choose to do. Since teaching already has certain requirements, I can't just walk into a school and tell them to give me a job because I want to teach. Since that takes time, I might as well use that time to also learn the language- a language I would need to know in order to secure long-term shelter, such as an apartment or house. You may not realize this, but teaching is not a high-paying job and those who teach live on a tight budget, which cannot afford personal translators every time I need something that involves a language I do not know. Yes, what a brilliant suggestion. I should have given this venture more thought...
I would like to request that people's comments actually pertain to the post receiving the comment. Talking to me about teaching English in Japan and speaking the native language when my blog entry is about the death of my grandfather and coming to grips with the situation is not only inaccurately placed, but is also in poor taste.
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